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Crack In The Egg
Yo everyone. Not much of a front page update here, we just want to get it on record: Kerafyrm the Awakened is dead…again. I guess that makes Triality the #1 and #2 guild in all of EverQuest? Sounds good to me. We anxiously await Kerafyrm the Awakened Special THX Widescreen Re-Release Edition, so we can dump all over that too.
Somewhere in that opacity disaster lies a dead dragon.
Originally posted by qxx • Apr 16, 2008 00:09
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Burial For The Living
Yo everyone. The long overdue update of our smashing and grabbing in Crystallos, Lair of the Awakened has finally arrived. Kind of. I’m not going to recap every little encounter in this place. Actually, I’m not going to recap any encounters! Most of it is old news by now and if I did that, one of us is going to be bored to death by the end. And as much as you’d want it to be me, it’d probably be you. So, I take mercy upon thee. Why don’t we kick this bitch off the hinges with some recruitment information.
None.
Moving right along, I have to say this update is a bit lack luster for me to be doing. Truth be told, I logged on 5 or 35 minutes late for raids on the night we killed Kerafyrm the Awakened. I took the tardiness to bake up a couple of DiGiorno’s and ate the hell out of them. Shortly thereafter I got hit with the -itis and slept through the entire historical victory.
So, I don’t want to speculate on how the victory went down, you know? I don’t want to take the time to write a lot of nonsense about something I haven’t seen yet, right? It would be retarded to come here and act like I’m informed on the ins-and-outs of the event when I hadn’t personally witnessed it. I couldn’t accurately or intelligently speak about the encounter’s details or difficulty. Am I rite?? M I RITE??
I mean, I could do all those things I listed up there. Maybe it would be some sort of therapeutic exercise to speak with unfiltered ignorance. Maybe that would get me more in-sync with the people littering the EQLive forums doing exactly that.
Or maybe, we can do something fun for everyone. This presents a unique opportunity for us. I was thinking an interactive update would be lovely since I’m lazy and you’re bored. So, let’s do this thing together. Below, you can write the rest of the update in your own special way! My 6th grade grammar skills were really put to the test here. I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t Google the shit out of parts of speech. Grammar Nazis: raise your red pens, it’s time to Mad Libs.
That was so fulfilling. We should do the rest of the updates like this. I’m sure you’ll agree!
Ok, Serious Man™ time now. I want to congratulate all my brothers and sisters of Triality for getting this shit done proper and grabbing another game-wide 1st place expansion win. In addition to that, we’re putting together a Crystallos raid movie. I’d guess that should be completed and posted here a month or so down the road. We’ll be here farming our asses off until the World Series, at least.
Here’s to swimmin’ with bow legged women. Cheers. I’m going to go get drunk.
Originally posted by qxx • Apr 06, 2008 18:28
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Never faded and by most suckers hated.
News at 11.
Posted by Dalnoth • Apr 02, 2008 20:26
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Two Great Hates Can Hate Great Together
Yo everyone. You’re probably tuning in to read about our absolute crushery we’re putting on Crystallos, Lair of the Awakened‘s inhabitants but we’re saving that for one gigantic update in the very near future. Tonight, we have other business at hand.
Make no mistake, our updates usually contain a certain amount of smug elitism. But it’s all in good fun. For every one statement I make about us being unfathomably awesome, I counter it with some collective self-deprecation because it really is just for fun; we’re really not that smug or elitist. But be warned: this front page update is pulling no punches. We’re taking everything we’re entitled to brag about and we’re going to rub your stupid faces in it until you look like that one Nazi at the end of Raider’s of the Lost Ark. Who’s stupid faces are we talking about? All the ignorant drama llamas posting on various message boards across the galaxy claiming Triality are cheaters. If you’re not one of them then just relax yourself and dig in for a good old fashioned EverQuest rant & flame.
This may come as a shocker, but there was a bug in Meldrath’s Majestic Mansion. Well, there were plenty of bugs but we’re used to that. That said, this one specific bug was allowing Meldrath The Malignant to spawn, regardless of your current lockout, once the zone was cleared of the other events. So, if someone was to kill Meldrath and the very next day have an event(s) ‘respawn’, when that event(s) was killed/defeated Meldrath would spawn again even though you just killed him the previous night, in this example. We knew this bug existed, since we’re the first guild to kill him.
That was your history lesson. Here comes your math lesson.
There are 2 fact(or)s you need to know before we go any further:
- Meldrath grants 6 flags per kill.
- We first entered Crystallos with 42 flagged members.
So here’s our timeline, which you can cross reference at any leaderboard: On 1/17/08 Meldrath died for the first time. We gained 6 flags, as noted. Meldrath has a 5 day lockout. We entered Crystallos on 2/18/08. And what do you know – that works out to exactly 42 flagged members if Meldrath was killed every 5 days since our first kill on 1/17. Imagine. That. As you can clearly see, that bug gained us no ground or advantage in flagging our members. It provided no upper hand in progressing through this expansion at a faster rate than intended by the event(s) lockouts. Here’s a specific breakdown for the arithmetically impaired.
- 1/17 Flags
- 1/22 Flags
- 1/27 Flags
- 2/01 Flags
- 2/06 Flags
- 2/11 Flags
- 2/16 Flags
- 2/18 Enter Crystallos
Now, all of this slandering and shit talking really makes us sad. It made us sad, fellas. Because for years now, we’ve been beating everything for you other guilds. And the only time you come out to mention our name is to try to shit on us.
We’ve been the premiere raiding guild in EverQuest for a while now. Our real first breach to the undisputed rank of #1 came in The Serpent’s Spine when we demolished both Frostcrypt and Ashengate before anyone else. The douchebags over at Township Rebellion couldn’t handle that we just served their asses to them and went on their “BEST OVERALL” bullshit, trying to discredit our accomplishment. Instead, they should have been sending our entire roster Thank You cards for making Frostcrypt beatable for them before they got there. Which guild was it that killed Harfange the Black with 50 unpreventable god damn adds? That was Triality. What did TR do? They got to Grenwald, found out he was a monster badass and got on the Bat Phone to get his legs broken and stuffed in a wheelchair…after we had been beating him regularly while he was on the juice (three times). Pansies.
So now it’s Solteris time. We have to man up to show that taking the gold home in The Serpent’s Spine wasn’t a fluke. So we did. But on the way there, we were the ones making adjustments to deal with the surprising difficulty of the events or random bugs sinking days, sometimes weeks, off our progression rate. We were killing the original Aprosis. Without gimping it by despawning the adds and kiting him around until the raid was ready like some people did…..When we beat Event 3 the first time, we got spammed with an erroneous emote and we didn’t get a lockout. Or the second time we beat Event 3 and we got raped by an army of golems upon completing the event and a chest didn’t spawn. Who cleaned up that mess for you ungrateful dickheads? Triality did. How about at event 5 when we beat the script and it respawned as if nothing happened and we got no chest. Who mopped up that shitstain before you second rate shitbags rolled up in there? Triality did. Then we beat our heads against Event 6 a total of 54 times. Which always seemed pretty ridiculous. But we did that when there was no limit on how many goos could spawn (3 every 30 sec). So by the end of the fight, we had more goo on the floor than a massage parlor in Chinatown. When you other whining retards got to that event, the goos got a cap on how many can spawn. Not to mention, although I’m about to, remember when Solteris was crashing like a DC-10? Well, during Secrets of Faydwer beta, we spent an entire night clearing all of Solteris (on the beta server) to assist in debugging the crashing issues. Keep in mind, we were donating our time to help fix a zone we would never step foot in again, just for you ingrates. And after doing all that we did for you other guilds, still no Thank You card. No fruit basket. Not even a box of chocolates. Shame on you.Now most recently was the Mansion. For example, Tinkerson and his bug for spawning. Instead of whining about it endlessly on the EQLive forums, we figured out what was causing it and worked around it. Therefore, we progress faster than you. When the ONE time problems with the elevator fucked us, we figured out how to avoid that and progressed. You did not. You bitched, and whined and cried and after all that: elevator music. How about when Prototype got changed and all you drippy vaginas were making threads for the eyes of anyone that would listen? Ya, we were beating that too…progressing. See the trend here? Now that you’ve gotten in there and sampled the fruits of our labors, you’re getting all sorts of events changed and manipulated to fit your family guild style of raiding. It took us 17 days to clear all of the Mansion and get our first flags. How long did it take you? That question is actually invalid. See, Meldrath also had another bug. The one where you’d wipe to him and he’d regenerate slower than shit. And I know, for an absolute fact, some of you guilds cherry picked him like that to get your flags…
See, what I’m getting at is this: You apparently can’t comprehend how we’re progressing through this expansion at breakneck speeds. You thought you found it with these bullshit accusations. You can’t comprehend the reality because you don’t have the same talent and mindset we do. We raid more than a pathetic four days a week (Dark Horizon). We make adjustments before we wipe 100 times to a fucking event (Raging Fury). We arrange ourselves and prepare ourselves for optimal raiding. We don’t just throw together some makeshift groups and launch ourselves at a fight (also, Raging Fury). I think our track record clearly indicates we require no exploits or cheats to stay ahead of the game and fell any foe that stands in our way to victory. We adapt. We don’t wipe to events 100 times. Shit, I haven’t done anything 100 times in my life except maybe masturbate. I mean, beating our heads against an event can happen to anyone but at like attempt #30, mayyyybe you want to switch some things up. That’s some priceless Triality spoilers right there. Use with discretion.
I heard some of you sluts calling for rollbacks on us for this alleged cheating we’ve done. That unnecessary suggestion makes me laugh. Not because of how ridiculous it was, but I can guarantee you, with absolute confidence we’d still beat you to the end of this expansion. Even if we had to reflag all over again. Still, we’d crush you. 4 groups of our players would out heal, out tank, out dps and out raid your entire trashbag guild anytime.
So when you’re looking for answers on how we can be doing so well; look to yourselves. It’s all relative. We’re only as good as what we can grade ourselves against. As far as I’m concerned Triality is #1 and the rest of you assholes are all tied for last.
Originally posted by qxx • Mar 09, 2008 23:02
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Don’t Even Try And Deny It
Yo everyone. Last night we took our first steps into Crystallos, Lair of the Awakened. Within an hour or two we had put our boot soles up some mud holes, but you can read about that in a near-future front page update. This update is to put a lid on our epic journey through Meldrath’s Majestic Mansion. Although, before the pleasure comes the business: Recruitment!
At this time we’re currently looking for a few good members to aide us in our ongoing struggle against the evil forces of Norrath. The classes desired are listed below:
Bard
Cleric
ShamanBefore applying, see our requirements in the Application section of our forums. If you meet those requirements send Powdwar or Quarken a tell in-game.
Back to the fun stuff. Much to everyone’s surprise, mine included, we have put together a quick movie of our fun times in Meldrath’s Majestic Mansion. Like always, the soundtrack is driven by that cherub of cheer, Andrew W.K. Please enjoy!
Triality vs. Meldrath’s Majestic Mansion
24 MB .wmv format
Soundtrack:
It’s Time To Party by Andrew W.K.
Originally posted by qxx • Feb 19, 2008 18:16
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You Can’t Stop What You Can’t End
Yo everyone. We’re going to kick it old school right now and start this incomprehensibly sextastic update off with recruitment information. Now before you post an application you’ll want to check this list, homeboy:
- Read our requirements here.
- Contact Dalnoth, Powdwar or Quarken in-game.
- Once we’ve done a thorough cavity search, we’ll let you board the plane for your first class trip to paradise.
At this time we’re looking for the following classes:
Bard
Berserker
Cleric
Enchanter
Monk
Ranger
Rogue
Before we continue, I have to warn you. We spent all of last night at a yoga class in the Plane of Tranquility in order to be as limber and loose as humanly possible. How come? Because of the gratuitous amount of self-fellatio you’re about to witness. That’s why. Humility is for women, check it at the door, son.
This model is cool enough to get two pictures.
As a loyal reader of TrialityGuild.com, I’m sure you’ll recall that our first crushing victory inside of Meldrath’s Majestic Mansion came at the start of the new year on Jan 1, 2008. And 17 long ass days later, I’m here to tell you that we have conquered and completed the Mansion in its entirety by putting the boots to Meldrath the Malignant himself. Only 17 days – that is really impressive, if I don’t say so myself. Especially when you consider the will-sapping amount of bugs we had to wallow through in order to get here. No exaggeration. Entire nights flushed directly down the shitter over and over again. But we don’t stop. We kept ourselves moving forward as much as we could and it really paid off. So I’m going to congratulate ourselves. Good job…us…
Now, about that humility. On the Breakneck front page update, I was shitting all types of furious rage because that event sucks. Remarkably, the rest of the events in this zone are great when they aren’t wildly bugging out (e.g., Bergurgle Tinkertwats). The Meldrath the Malignant fight was especially fun, for reals. That’s all. I just wanted to take a second away from throwing roses at ourselves and patting our collective back to show some love to this zone and the raid events within it. Odd, I know.
So the Mansion is destroyed. We now take our huge e-balls to Crystallos, Lair of the Awakened. We anxiously look forward to raiding there soon. Happy Martin Luther King Jr. day everyone!
Originally posted by qxx • Jan 19, 2008 16:23
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Eat Steel
The full story soon…
Originally posted by qxx • Jan 17, 2008 22:10
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The Apes of Wrath
Yo everyone. As I write this update, I am reminded of the fruitful insight that can only be provided by the internets. I’m searching for the words to properly express our crushing victories in Meldrath’s Magestic Mansion. For these words I must revert to our digital prophet, The Steamroller. And clearly, the residents of the Mansion are bad at behaving. So, who have we slathered with asphalt this time?
We rolled up on the Notorious M.E.G first. Just as we were about to inject a cannon full of clockwork Botox into that ugly ass mug, we were ambushed by Doctor ‘I Love It When You Call Me Big Brinda’ Sprockets. She was all romping around in her steampowered Rascal Powerchair™. We put the boots to this pig and collected our bounty. Since I am lacking a screenshot of the actual Brinda, here’s a very close approximation in the form of a Megaman 2 sprite instead.
We were so intoxicated with sheer power after putting the crush on the good doctor that we strolled up to el toro de sueño. Krond the Longhorn, as he’s known by the ladies, was having himself a nice siesta when we kicked open the blast doors and dropped a proton torpedo directly up his small exhaust port, killing him in less than 12 parsecs.
So that’s the latest. If you’re keeping score, you’ll notice we’ve put the clamps on everything in this zone aside from Meldrath himself. So you know where to be and who to be looking for (here and his Gnomish cadaver!). See you soon, don’t let your meat loaf…
Originally posted by qxx Jan 14, 2008 12:39
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Swallow Up The Air And Earth
Yo everyone. Look at this: another front page update just 4 days later. That’s some sort of innernets anomaly. But don’t be scurred – it won’t happen again. Unless, of course, we take this pace of domination, mutilation and masturbation straight to the faces of these next events. In which case, there shall be more front page updates. Oh yes, more! For we have already felled two more foes within Meldrath’s Majestic Mansion.
The Battle Room event and its Tactical Prototype XXVII was where and who we went to see after that shitass Breakneck, Master at Arms event was down and done shit-stinking up the zone. God damn that event sucks. But, I gotta say, collectively, we really enjoyed the Battle Room event. It’s new, challenging and there is nothing cooler than giant robots. It is the unicorns & candy we were hoping for. Buuuut we got one loot. Fucking gnarly!
Risk vs. Reward unavailable for comment.
After that little breath-of-fresh-air of an event, which it really was, we took our huge throbbing testicles over to Seneschal Bargangle Tinkerson. Pause. Read the name again. Read it. Respect it. Love it. Proceed. Ballgargle Tinkletank has arguably the most buggy event we’ve come across in here yet. This is event is so bu-
With Delbert on our side, we blasted through the bugs and smashed Burglarize Tinklestank just to collect, yet again, one loot.
Zey do notzing. So that be all fer now, me mateys. I’m sure we’ll put the screw to some more events shortly.
Until then…
Originally posted by qxx • Jan 06, 2008 00:07
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Mutilate The Worms
Yo everyone. The first front page update of a new year! And, really, the first content related update since June of 2007. So what have we been doing for the past half a year? We’ve been beefing up on our prayers and vitamins for the new expansion, and it hath arrived. For we have finally tasted the fruits of Secrets of Faydwer and they taste like shit. Why oh why? Well, half the content was broken or malfunctioning when we first went at it. I’ll pause while you slam the Life Alert® emergency response necklace draped around your neck from that heart attack you just had. Ok, good? So, we slopped our way through that shit pile and now we’ve gotten into Meldrath’s Majestic Mansion. Which, sadly everything seems to be working as intended. Why sadly? Because it’s trashola so far! In all fairness, we’ve only fully dissected one event. So the rest of the events may very well be all unicorns and candy. Until then though…
Breakneck, Master at Arms. He’s the guy we killed. There are a few ways I can describe the event to you. I could just link you back to some Demi-Plane of Blood updates, and you could pretend that reading material is about this event – verbatim. I could take a poop on a pile of poop in a poop factory as some sort of analogous visual aide. Or, I could just showcase the very process that the developers used to create this event. Let’s go with the latter.
Combine the following:
- Hatchet the Torturer
- Zi-Thuuli of the Granite Claw
- Richard Simmons
- Down’s Syndrome
Voilà! Instant content. Al Gore would be so impressed at the progress the green movement is making in MMOs with this kind of recycling. Steamsuits will be running on 100% vegetable oil by spring time! All kidding aside – it’s really that bad. This is no exaggeration, friends. This event is so gay that they actually made a movie about it. It’s this summer’s feel-good family blockbuster smash hit.
And then to add insult to inj; 1 loot. We got one shitty loot. I know this expansion is supposed to last a year+ but honestly, 1 loot? That’s trash. Trashola. Trasholio! I’d rather be geared to the gills, sitting on my ass in the Guild Lobby, rocking vigorously like an autist for 3 months while waiting for the next expansion to drop than spend an entire year farming this one because the drop rate is slower than the autist I pictured when writing that last sentence (he was very autizzy). Oh, the loot:
So, one event in the books. More to come soon. Since, unlike other guilds we don’t get holidays off. So while they’re off lighting their menorahs and stealing Kwanzaa cakes, we’ll be stuffing stockings in the Mansion.
Come on in, the water’s warm.
Originally posted by qxx • Jan 02, 2008 18:24
