Yo everyone. You’re probably tuning in to read about our absolute crushery we’re putting on Crystallos, Lair of the Awakened‘s inhabitants but we’re saving that for one gigantic update in the very near future. Tonight, we have other business at hand.
Make no mistake, our updates usually contain a certain amount of smug elitism. But it’s all in good fun. For every one statement I make about us being unfathomably awesome, I counter it with some collective self-deprecation because it really is just for fun; we’re really not that smug or elitist. But be warned: this front page update is pulling no punches. We’re taking everything we’re entitled to brag about and we’re going to rub your stupid faces in it until you look like that one Nazi at the end of Raider’s of the Lost Ark. Who’s stupid faces are we talking about? All the ignorant drama llamas posting on various message boards across the galaxy claiming Triality are cheaters. If you’re not one of them then just relax yourself and dig in for a good old fashioned EverQuest rant & flame.
This may come as a shocker, but there was a bug in Meldrath’s Majestic Mansion. Well, there were plenty of bugs but we’re used to that. That said, this one specific bug was allowing Meldrath The Malignant to spawn, regardless of your current lockout, once the zone was cleared of the other events. So, if someone was to kill Meldrath and the very next day have an event(s) ‘respawn’, when that event(s) was killed/defeated Meldrath would spawn again even though you just killed him the previous night, in this example. We knew this bug existed, since we’re the first guild to kill him.
That was your history lesson. Here comes your math lesson.
There are 2 fact(or)s you need to know before we go any further:
- Meldrath grants 6 flags per kill.
- We first entered Crystallos with 42 flagged members.
So here’s our timeline, which you can cross reference at any leaderboard: On 1/17/08 Meldrath died for the first time. We gained 6 flags, as noted. Meldrath has a 5 day lockout. We entered Crystallos on 2/18/08. And what do you know – that works out to exactly 42 flagged members if Meldrath was killed every 5 days since our first kill on 1/17. Imagine. That. As you can clearly see, that bug gained us no ground or advantage in flagging our members. It provided no upper hand in progressing through this expansion at a faster rate than intended by the event(s) lockouts. Here’s a specific breakdown for the arithmetically impaired.
- 1/17 Flags
- 1/22 Flags
- 1/27 Flags
- 2/01 Flags
- 2/06 Flags
- 2/11 Flags
- 2/16 Flags
- 2/18 Enter Crystallos
Now, all of this slandering and shit talking really makes us sad. It made us sad, fellas. Because for years now, we’ve been beating everything for you other guilds. And the only time you come out to mention our name is to try to shit on us.
We’ve been the premiere raiding guild in EverQuest for a while now. Our real first breach to the undisputed rank of #1 came in The Serpent’s Spine when we demolished both Frostcrypt and Ashengate before anyone else. The douchebags over at Township Rebellion couldn’t handle that we just served their asses to them and went on their “BEST OVERALL” bullshit, trying to discredit our accomplishment. Instead, they should have been sending our entire roster Thank You cards for making Frostcrypt beatable for them before they got there. Which guild was it that killed Harfange the Black with 50 unpreventable god damn adds? That was Triality. What did TR do? They got to Grenwald, found out he was a monster badass and got on the Bat Phone to get his legs broken and stuffed in a wheelchair…after we had been beating him regularly while he was on the juice (three times). Pansies.
So now it’s Solteris time. We have to man up to show that taking the gold home in The Serpent’s Spine wasn’t a fluke. So we did. But on the way there, we were the ones making adjustments to deal with the surprising difficulty of the events or random bugs sinking days, sometimes weeks, off our progression rate. We were killing the original Aprosis. Without gimping it by despawning the adds and kiting him around until the raid was ready like some people did…..When we beat Event 3 the first time, we got spammed with an erroneous emote and we didn’t get a lockout. Or the second time we beat Event 3 and we got raped by an army of golems upon completing the event and a chest didn’t spawn. Who cleaned up that mess for you ungrateful dickheads? Triality did. How about at event 5 when we beat the script and it respawned as if nothing happened and we got no chest. Who mopped up that shitstain before you second rate shitbags rolled up in there? Triality did. Then we beat our heads against Event 6 a total of 54 times. Which always seemed pretty ridiculous. But we did that when there was no limit on how many goos could spawn (3 every 30 sec). So by the end of the fight, we had more goo on the floor than a massage parlor in Chinatown. When you other whining retards got to that event, the goos got a cap on how many can spawn. Not to mention, although I’m about to, remember when Solteris was crashing like a DC-10? Well, during Secrets of Faydwer beta, we spent an entire night clearing all of Solteris (on the beta server) to assist in debugging the crashing issues. Keep in mind, we were donating our time to help fix a zone we would never step foot in again, just for you ingrates. And after doing all that we did for you other guilds, still no Thank You card. No fruit basket. Not even a box of chocolates. Shame on you.
Now most recently was the Mansion. For example, Tinkerson and his bug for spawning. Instead of whining about it endlessly on the EQLive forums, we figured out what was causing it and worked around it. Therefore, we progress faster than you. When the ONE time problems with the elevator fucked us, we figured out how to avoid that and progressed. You did not. You bitched, and whined and cried and after all that: elevator music. How about when Prototype got changed and all you drippy vaginas were making threads for the eyes of anyone that would listen? Ya, we were beating that too…progressing. See the trend here? Now that you’ve gotten in there and sampled the fruits of our labors, you’re getting all sorts of events changed and manipulated to fit your family guild style of raiding. It took us 17 days to clear all of the Mansion and get our first flags. How long did it take you? That question is actually invalid. See, Meldrath also had another bug. The one where you’d wipe to him and he’d regenerate slower than shit. And I know, for an absolute fact, some of you guilds cherry picked him like that to get your flags…
See, what I’m getting at is this: You apparently can’t comprehend how we’re progressing through this expansion at breakneck speeds. You thought you found it with these bullshit accusations. You can’t comprehend the reality because you don’t have the same talent and mindset we do. We raid more than a pathetic four days a week (Dark Horizon). We make adjustments before we wipe 100 times to a fucking event (Raging Fury). We arrange ourselves and prepare ourselves for optimal raiding. We don’t just throw together some makeshift groups and launch ourselves at a fight (also, Raging Fury). I think our track record clearly indicates we require no exploits or cheats to stay ahead of the game and fell any foe that stands in our way to victory. We adapt. We don’t wipe to events 100 times. Shit, I haven’t done anything 100 times in my life except maybe masturbate. I mean, beating our heads against an event can happen to anyone but at like attempt #30, mayyyybe you want to switch some things up. That’s some priceless Triality spoilers right there. Use with discretion.
I heard some of you sluts calling for rollbacks on us for this alleged cheating we’ve done. That unnecessary suggestion makes me laugh. Not because of how ridiculous it was, but I can guarantee you, with absolute confidence we’d still beat you to the end of this expansion. Even if we had to reflag all over again. Still, we’d crush you. 4 groups of our players would out heal, out tank, out dps and out raid your entire trashbag guild anytime.
So when you’re looking for answers on how we can be doing so well; look to yourselves. It’s all relative. We’re only as good as what we can grade ourselves against. As far as I’m concerned Triality is #1 and the rest of you assholes are all tied for last.