• Quarken Era (2004-2013)

    As Pure As The Arctic Snow

    Yo everyone. We’re working on a very intense, very amazing, prrrrobably long overdue front page update. You’re probably asking yourself, “What makes it so intense and what’s taking so long to do it?”. And I’m probably asking myself, “Why aren’t I at AssParade.com right now?”. My friend, these questions are better left unasked and they are certainly better left unanswered because that would require me to think, type and not be at AssParade.com right now. So what’s this all about then? It’s about tonight.

    Tonight! Tonight is a special night. A very special night indeed. Tonight, we the denizens of the Maelin Starpyre server (more importantly the sexual dynamos of Triality) will be forcibly inserted into the digital cavity that is know as the Drinal server. This gives the lonely, unwilling and confused citizens of the Drinal server the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to test their skills, agility, their skagility, within the ranks of EverQuest’s Unoriginal Bad Boys: Triality. Basically what I’m prattling on about in order to make this update more than one sentence is, if you are one of the following classes…

    Solid DPSers (Rogues & Berserkers)

    Updated Jul 28, 2010

    If interested, please seek one of our eligible officers (Sepha, Hylea or Gilthanos) in-game and we’ll be sure to woo you into our strong but safe embrace.

    In a serious tone, if I may: We’re looking for dedicated players that want to push to the end of Underfoot with us as quickly, efficiently and as enjoyably as humanly possible. At this point in time, we’ve killed everything that’s killable (though you wouldn’t know since we haven’t had a front page update since ‘Nam) and we need a few clutch players to join us in our campaign of pain.

    Destined for godhood to many’s dismay.
    Just lords and masters of all we survey.
    Originally posted by qxx • Jun 21, 2010 21:32   
  • Quarken Era (2004-2013)

    Apply To The Bad Guy

    Yo everyone. You can skip down below to read the really juicy stuff but, since we’re all gathered here, I want to take this opportunity to remind everyone that Triality is recruiting Bards, Clerics, Enchanters, Shaman and melee DPS classes. If you’re one of those classes, you’ll want to get in touch with an officer in regards to applying. Our calls are currently being forwarded to our nearest alternative character(s), so you may want to just PM one of us here, here, here, here, here, here or here.

    As an extra incentive for potential applicants: If you join today, you will get 1 weeks paid vacation right off the bat! I don’t think you’ll find many other guild’s offering the same perk. We’ll be returning to the office on May 4th

    Breaking News • April 30, 2010

    Free at last, free at last!

    Apr 27 – May 4 Apr 30

    Never forget.

    Destined for godhood to many’s dismay.
    Just lords and masters of all we survey.
    Originally posted by qxx • Apr 29, 2010 09:51
  • Quarken Era (2004-2013)

    Man’s Best Friend

    Greetings avid viewers! I’d like to welcome you to the latest edition of As Trialityguild.com Turns. I’d say As Triality Turns but as fate would have it, I’m not welcome in Everquest for 7 days. My name is Dalnoth, you might not remember me, but that doesn’t matter. Recently I started playing EverQuest and helping run the guild after about a two year hiatus. But that’s jibber jabber and what I’m here to talk about is a lot more serious. So get your serious-business face ready, put your Anti-Triality hats on and lets get ready to roll.

    Greetings, Adventurer:
    Your account has been found to have benefited from a nearly guild wide raid exploit. Per developers’ request and supplementary CS investigations, this has lead to a 7-8 day suspension of your account. Due to the nature of this exploit, any items gained through the exploit will also be removed. Please note that due to the severity of scope of the exploit, suspension reversals will not be considered in this case.
    Please keep in mind that bypassing intended content and lock out timers is an exploit of the game dynamics and continued use of these exploits could lead up to an account termination. Thank you for your cooperation when you return to game.
    Game Master Clemencius
    EverQuest/EverQuest 2/Star Wars Galaxies In-Game CSR
    Sony Online Entertainment, L.L.C.

    This is the email we all received tonight after having our collective guild suspended for 8 days. I’m sure everyone is sitting on the edge of their seat at this point; What could we have possibly done, that nobody else had done to warrant an 8 day suspension? Because obviously, if other guilds were doing it they would have been suspended too right? We begged the question and then we found out what we were suspended for.

    We were killing the Beast with our raid, then tanking his mate with alts and healing the tank with alts while he was at 0%, dropping the DZ on our mains and letting the alts eat the lockout.

    Here’s the first three things that come to mind immediately:

    • Is this against the rules? Yes
    • Were we the only ones doing this to raid events? No
    • Were we the only ones suspended for doing this? Yes

    The sheer semantics of this are mind boggling for the very reason that Triality isn’t the only guild doing this but, we seem to be the only guild getting punished for doing this. So for this very instance it seems at best, questionable; and at worst begrudging of SoE-staff to suspend our entire guild when other entire guilds are still online right now who have performed the same actions. For example:

    Crimson Tempest was in Pellucid Grotto for 3 and a half hours the other night zoning in/out. They are either the world’s worst Pellucid Grotto raiders or there was something fishy going on there. Considering a 4 year old in a Power Wheels could beat Pellucid Grotto, I think it’s pretty safe to assume they were doing the same exact thing we were.

    How many people have ever /DZadded or /Taskadded people into a group mission after dropping people who actually did the mission from it? Apparently that’s not an exploit and is completely intended to give someone credit for a task/mission they didn’t do.

    How many people here ever saw the literally-hundreds-of-people who ever did the same exact thing to farm Frostcrypt/Ashengate augs to this very day and nothing ever happened to them?

    How about the literally-hundreds-of-people who exploited Rallos Returns doing, literally, 10 times worse then what we were doing to the Beast; yet nothing ever happened to them?

    How about Crimson Tempest who kept a Kerafyrm add mez locked at the zone in to prevent Kerafyrm from respawning so every time they wipe, they can start off from the % that they wiped on ?

    Absolutely retarded. You mean to tell me, that the same thing happens for, literally, years upon years in Everquest; but you pick now…3+ years later to take disciplinary action in this manner? Not only did you take 3 years to do it, Sony, but you did it in a most biased form. The fact that it wasn’t even Customer Service that handed down the bans, but a Developer, just goes to show you the reason why Triality was the only guild suspended and why no other guilds were suspended as of 12:11am 4/28/2010 and no mass guild suspension/banning has been done since Sleeper’s Tomb (unless I’m wrong) when there have been so many other actions that were equal of, or more warranting of, CS disciplinary action.

    It seems to me everyone else can live around the margins and get away with it, but if Triality does something there is an epic scandal followed by everyone who has been stock piling hate on us for God knows how long, getting their jerk-off on whatever outlet you look at for Everquest forums. As much as I hate them lets take the New York Yankees as an example to display how this goes down.

    Yankees play at a higher level -> Yankees recruit/sign the good players from other Kansas City Royals-like teams through-out MLB -> Kansas City Royals-like teams hate the Yankees

    We have recruited from under-achieving shit-hole guilds not worth mentioning that reside under Triality/CT on Maelin and reside on Xegony in now the “top amazing best ever” raiding guild on the server; who keep in mind can’t kill a nerfed down Clicknar Queen for 2 weeks after it had it’s legs broke. Does anyone see a trend here? I certainly do.

    Trashbag guilds that can’t progress lose members to Triality -> Said guilds members have a knee jerk opinion that anything negative said about us is true and run with it from their infinite bitterness -> 4 years later, here we are.

    Anytime Triality is mentioned the collective hate squad, who live extremely fulfilling and pleasant lives, are there to meet the word ‘Triality’ with verbal feces in an attempt to bring us down.

    Triality raids at a level above. You can debate this all you want and throw knee jerk “Ur EXPLOITERZ LOL” after everything; but guess what? This isn’t Everquest Live and you can’t post that here. You have to actually read logic and face facts here instead of forming a circle jerk of ‘Triality hate’ around the Developer’s cookie for a game of “Loser Eats It”. What makes me think you are going to read it? We both know if you made it this far, you are way too obsessed with riding our dicks to stop now, so please, assume the position.

    You can’t argue fact. The fact is: Triality has legitimately killed/completed the last five expansions in a number 1, 2, or 3 fashion progression-wise dating back to PoR. We are currently the oldest raiding guild that stays at the top curve of competition dating back to a form date of 09/02. Stupid bullshit like this, among other shit; which has no baring at all on any of this guilds prior or present accomplishments and success, but haters take this as the perfect “straw-man” to make a cliche response to anything Triality. “ROFL EXPLOITURZ”. Which leads into my next segment: The majority of you line up on call to bash Triality for things because you are doing your best to try and keep the attention off you/your guild who most likely have done something WAY WORSE then what we did to earn this suspension.

    1.) The CT Kerafyrm Debacle.

    2.) Township Rebellion claimed they never buff blocked an event publically, however, their first Kerafyrm kill was the result of a buff block. Keep in mind that this wasn’t done to circumvent broken content; it was done because they couldn’t hack it.

    2a) Also using the buff block exploit to fell the mighty Kerafyrm was Raging Fury and Triton.

    3.) Realm of Who? Used the same Buff Block exploit to kill Brath before the fix went in for him. Yet we’re cheaters and exploiters (their member’s quotes). Just to give you an idea with the level of hypocrisy and childish rhetoric we are dealing with here. Not to mention (although I’m about to) how their first Queen kill was a result of a bug and they hadn’t legitimately killed her again: the Clicknar Queen despawns at 70% and gives you loot. I didn’t see any of you running to say, “Hey we didn’t beat this event! Don’t give us credit on Lavanet!” I didn’t see any of you running to not loot the chests that dropped from the event. I didn’t see any of you not rushing to Lucy to wave your collective penises in the air. Scouts honor; right?

    4.) In another dose of pure irony, Triality first heard about using ‘The Rock’ to dodge the Beast from…other guilds pointing their fingers at us. Ironically, the two guilds who did this (RoI and Machin Something), where we learned this from, actually killed the Beast before us using said exploit; and they have the most vocal trash talkers of Triality in public.

    5.) Machin Shit’s proud and Ivory Tower Crusading guild-leader Ronak received a cease and desist letter from former Lead GM-Vianaxis about his guild’s rampant use of Third Party/Hacking programs with a guild disbanding threat. Pulling corpses from PoTime graveyard to PoTime Phase 5 after a wipe anyone? It’s funny how Ronak turns a blind eye to such things until he received the C&D order from Sony, not even removing the abusers from his guild, but further enabling their contribution to his raid. So as I said earlier, it’s pretty comical to find things out like this. The biggest Triality haters are really just trying to “deflect” any kind of accusations/attention from their own guild.

    6.) Some guild not worth mentioning on Firiona Vie has a guild leader who is the biggest RMT proprietor in Everquest. The guild basically exists for him to RMT off of.

    I could go and on and on, but I won’t. Although I have a week to do nothing between 7-11pm and if people wanna keep the shit spinning, I’m ready to play Wheel of Fortune.

    Most importantly, why did I bring all this up? I brought all this up because frankly a lot of us are sick of reading exaggerated/baseless/spun claims/attacks on our guild and:

    A.) Being met with a knee-jerk reaction on EQlive when attempted to actually have a conversation with said people about the situation or an actual discussion/debate, coupled with a mentality that could rival only that of a 6 year old in a pack during kindergarten recess ridiculing one person.

    B.) Absolutely sick of being the Straw-Man for everyone’s guild to draw the attention away from the unsavory actions they’ve done.

    C.) Sick of unfair treatment from Sony Employees

    D.) Tired of reading finger pointing and ridicule from people who are in guilds that have definitely lived outside the margins before in raid content.

    Since I have yet to touch on Topic C, lets go there.

    Triality reports that a wipe mechanic in the Brath script didn’t work to SoE Development. We waited for a response for weeks…upon weeks. Finally after 3 weeks of these bugs going unaddressed and lack of anything else to do, we buff-block up and kill Brath. After 3 weeks of no communication, the fixes for the fight were on Test…2 days later. Or better in this case, The Beast lockout skipping (which is what resulted in our suspension), was reported at least 4 months ago and never patched in. It takes us having to actually do something, before it gets your attention.

    Look at it this way, it’s like locking a 100lb dog in a room with a door that has a circle door in it and feeding him 10 pounds of dog food. Then when the dog has to go the bathroom, he tries to get out of the door and can’t because the hole is too small, so he looks at you to fix the door. When you don’t fix the door, the dog shits on the rug, and then you get pissy with the dog and slap him off the nose and THEN fix the door. See what I’m saying?

    We did what we did, whatever. Nobody is debating if it was against the rules or not because it was; what we are debating is:

    A.) Why other guilds who did exactly what we did; didn’t receive disciplinary action other than the obvious reason is; somebody has it out for us or, you are making an example out of us.

    B.) Why now? People DZdodged Rallos Returns for literally almost a year before it was fixed, nothing happened. People DZdodge aug mobs in Frostcrypt/Ashengate to double farm, nothing happens. Triality DZDodges Beast raid, and the entire guild gets slapped with a 1 week suspension.

    Anyone see any unfair treatment here?

    Anyway I’m sure we’re going to see the refusal and denial that anything happened that I detailed in here from other Non-Exploiting, Fair-Playing, Ivory-Tower Sitting Everquest guilds, because as I said earlier; The Straw-Man technique is the most effective route to masking one’s own faults or passing the buck if you will. Nobodys perfect; even us, and you’re not any different.

    It’s with all this going on that I will present…

    The Q/A that will last at least 1 hour and be moderated/screened. If there is a question about Triality that you ever wanted to ask and get a straight answer to that wasn’t a knee-jerk 12 year old EQlive post response, please be there.

    Server: irc.rogean.com
    Port: 6667

    The channel will be moderated and you will get tossed for being a tool, besides; do you really need another public venue to shit up? You have the EQLive boards for that.

    Originally posted by Dalnoth • Apr 28, 2010 02:06   
  • Quarken Era (2004-2013)

    Release the Flies

    Yo everyone. We haven’t had a true update in like 10 months or something, since those boner-destroying Living Legacy events. A lot has changed since then. After farming Seeds of Destruction for an entire year, our roster was about as stable as a high-rise in Haiti. So, we’ve been on a recruiting frenzy and found a handful of folks that were putting the can’t in applicant. We’re still going strong but obviously still recruiting. Let’s talk about that real quick:

    Bard: 1
    Berserker: 2
    Cleric: 2
    Enchanter: 1
    Rogue: 2
    Shaman: 1

    Updated Apr 06, 2010

    If you’re one of those classes listed above and you feel like you’re ready to strap on the happy helmet and raid Triality style, contact Mendix, Somta, Sepha or myself (Quarken but preferably one of the other 3 officers) in-game. We’ll have you raiding at a third-grade level in no time. On a serious note, don’t bother applying if you’re the type of person that doesn’t know how to spell words, type words quickly or understand words typed at you. Communication is key. We can help you get gear and AA’s but dumb is forever. Forever. Speaking of dumb, let’s talk about Underfoot.

    Just kidding. So far, Underfoot awesome. The events are harder than a teen at a titty bar while having the learning curve of a sonderkommando new-hire orientation. The challenge is refreshing after that last limp noodle we had to raid for a year.

    First, The Wrath of Brath. An irritable golem with a penchant for ass beating. Ok, confession time. There’s been a lot of accusations coming out of the raiding community regarding the methods we employed to beat these new events. I like competition. So, it would be unfair if we were using top secret tactics to our advantage and not allowing our competing guilds the same privilege. With that in mind, I reluctantly present our Brath strat, full disclosure.

    Anyone that’s been to the Brath event knows you have 1 big named and a shitload of adds. The first thing we do when seeing a new event is apply EQ judo; take our opponents strength and attacks and use them to our advantage. Any gamer worth his salt knows in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 you can get a Tactical Nuke by killing 25 consecutive enemies without dying. The Tactical Nuke gives you an instant victory, regardless of the odds stacked against you. So, with all the adds during the Brath event, the path to victory seemed pretty obvious. The tricky part was figuring out how to get that tactical nuking capability into EverQuest. There just had to be a way. We put our top Triality Black Ops engineers and scientists on the case. One set of jumper cables, a box of Twinkies and 2 hours later, we were tactically nuking our way into EverQuest history, bringing home the serverwide-first victory over Brath. So there it is, our 100% true, no-holds-barred strategy for Brath and many, many future conquests in the Underfootage.

    Prior to Brath, we had the unique pleasure of visiting an event so unfun that the very thought of it has been known to inflict erectile dysfunction into even the most virile of men. I’m of course referring to Grunkuck the Beast. The blood-thirstiest, shoot ’em firstiest, doggone worstiest mob that ever sailed the Spanish main. And, oh. my. god. would you believe some people accused lil’ old us of using questionable tactics on this event too? Yessiree. Well, that cannot be denied. I think by now the very obvious and much talked about Rock of Destiny came into play during our early victories over this drrrrrreadful event. In case you aren’t privy to what I’m referring to, please, enjoy our helpful tutorial. If a picture is worth a thousand words, than a 15 frame animated .gif must be worth, like, a million!

    The good news is we’ve since single tanked the beast, quickly affirming that yes, our dicks are still huge even when they take our rocks away.

    With strategy brainstorming sessions like this, how can’t we win?!

    What else, what else have we been up to. Oh, The Unburrowing. This event is great. What’s better, nobody accused us of cheating. I know, it’s almost unberievable. After being awesome for long, we’re used to people accusing us of cheating, or hacking, or MacroQuesting or having a Bat Phone to the developers that’ll get events killed for us or…, you get the point. You can actually go back to the past handful of expansions and read updates on this very website shooting down these [mostly] baseless accusations.

    At this point, we don’t care. Your nerd-raging, EQLive posting nonsense is met with only apathy and sarcasm. You can keep calling us out all you like. It still doesn’t stop your members from applying to us because they’d rather get shit done than listen to you cry and whine and shout about us all night every time your raid gets wrecked on events we shit all over. Maybe if people like Ronak just shut the fuck up, they’d make a worthwhile contender somewhere down the line. I don’t know much (really, I don’t) but if I saw Mendix spamming EQLive, smashing other guilds all day, I’d start to wonder where his priorities sat. Meaning, I’d wonder if he was more concerned with making us succeed or more concerned with making others fail. If it was the latter, I’d be jumping ship like a peasant on the Titanic.

    Now, you’re saying, “What the fuck dude, you just told me you guys used rocks and nukes and shit to beat those other events”. So what? fuck off. And also, you’re retarded. It doesn’t take a criminal mastermind to notice AE’s for Brath are flagged beneficial on Lucy. The same as it isn’t rocket science that zone geometry has been used since, literally, the first raid mobs EVER to dodge detrimental AE’s and abilities. You’re going to tell me in Temple of Veeshan, your guild never hid from an AE? Or you never used Journeyman’s Boots to unfuck the mana drain from Aaryonar? There wasn’t any other way people did those fights. This is fucking elementary EverQuest.

    We all know we’re beta testing new expansions on live servers, at this point. The beta server exists to make sure the car runs. But it’s up to us, after release, to make sure it drives straight and the windshield wipers work and all that shit. So, of course we find oversights, loopholes and broken shit that works to our advantage. Nobody will question that we immediately fire this information off to the powers that be and scream to have it fixed ASAP.

    Though, usually, we’re by ourselves doing this shit. We’re usually seeing and killing encounters before you guys get to them. So you never really have to experience this type of shit (i.e., Frostcrypt and Solteris). But last time around, Seeds of Destruction was like an equal opportunity expansion that lasted wayyyyy too long. SoD allowed everyone, even the mom & pop guilds full of filthy casuals, to be crashing into Underfoot raids on day 1 and it shows.

    In short, know your role, fall into line and start acting like you’re supposed to be here if you want to stay. This shit has been going on longer than you realize and you’re showing how green you are by complaining to any ear, or forum, that will listen.

    Anyway, The Unburrowing. It’s awesome, we beat it and I’m entirely too sober on a Saturday night to say anything else. Grap summed it up quite nicely:

    And firstly but not leastly, Fappy Dickpaw. This fight is also awesome. A little humor, a little asskicking. I guess Fippy is a bit of old news by this point and, again, I’m too sober to type anything beyond that.

    Alright, so I think I’ve made enough dick references to awaken the zombie of Freud. We’ll be back with more updates as we smash and grab everything Underfoot has to offer. Until then, I’m going to eat some Dilaudid like they’re breath mints, for my back pain of course, and wash it down with a Jack & Coke (minus the Coke) for my brain pain. XOXOXO

    Spackled and battered and
    smothered and covered and
    cleaving and cloven and
    bitter and blued.
    Originally posted by qxx • Feb 07, 2010 03:02   
  • Quarken Era (2004-2013)

    To All the Killers and the $100 Dollar Billers


    by Braelxx

    I've been doing some thinking inspired by a story I read saying that one of the actresses in Slumdog Millionaire is being sold by her dad for 200,000 pounds (about $300k). After a little bit of math I worked out that the life of that 9 year old girl is worth 4,636,419,298 plat 2 gold 7 silver 6 copper. Now, there's probably ways to make this affordable, but I know an easier method. Using the universal truth that Chinese kids are worth less than Indian kids or practically anything else on the planet, I searched Google for the going rate on them. After a couple of minutes I found this article which says "pretty" Chinese girls can be bought for about 550 British pounds each. Right now the dollar to pound conversion is 1 pound=$1.4546 so 550 pounds is $800.03.
    Why do I bring this up? Well, according to our front page we're currently recruiting 1 Bard, 2 Rogues, 2 Shaman, and 1 Wizard. Using the rate IGE sells plat of 25 million plat for $1750.83 and taking into account that we need 6 players, we should be able to buy 6 Chinese kids for $4800.18. This would also have the side benefit of giving us 6 players with raid attendance at or close to 100%. Anyways, a computer for each would also need factored into this cost. I'm sure we could get some EQ capable PC's for $650 each which would increase the cost for all 6 to $8700.18 or 1450.03 individually.
    Now, using the IGE conversion rate, we could raise $8700.18 in guild funds for a mere 124,229,365 plat. Currently our roster has 69 active members which means if we were to each donate 1,800,425 plat, 5 gold, 7 silver, 9 copper we would be able to cover this fee and have those 6 positions permanently filled. Costs could be further reduced by selling rot loot for a couple of weeks rather than give it to alts. If you figure Korafax, FoS, Warrens, RCC, and Tosk all rot (minus fractured essences and flying mount) and we sold each item at 500k in order to raise funds, in a week we would be able to sell 30 items for 15 million plat. This is a bit over a 10% reduction in overall cost and would reduce each members share of the fund to 1,583,034 plat, 2 gold, 7 silver, 5 copper.
    Finally, if you take the cost of each individual and expect them to repay our investment, each of our new "recruits" would owe us 18,204,894 plat. I'm not sure how much plat can be generated by farming for it specifically but I'll use the rate I gain plat of 10k an hour off Vald giants while I exp. If you take that rate and require 12 hours of farming a day, it would take 152 days for the plat investment to be repaid. If we continued to make them farm for one year, each of us would gain a 240% return on our initial investment, for an overall profit of 2,218,681 plat per person.
    Anyways, I think this would be worth looking into in order to fill those empty slots. It's a workable way to gain 6 100% raiders, and over a year generate 2.2 million plat for every single member, which would be very useful when it comes to aug swaps, rank 2 spells early next expansion (we'll make a profit shortly before it's released), and so on.
    Thoughts? Things I overlooked (such as food)?

    Originally written by Braelxx & posted by qxx • Apr 21, 2009 06:43   
  • Quarken Era (2004-2013)

    21st Century Catastrophe

    Recruitment Info
    Bard: 1
    Berserker: 1
    Druid: 1
    Rogue: 1
    Shadowknight: 1
    Shaman: 2

    Yo everyone. So this update is a little delayed. Truth be told, as soon as we defeated Lord Brekt, Rider of Discord, I logged off and immediately started writing the update in a punctual fashion, as I typically do. But, I couldn’t stop giving the finger to the screenshot of Overlord Muram long enough to type more than a few words. I think you’ll understand.

    So tonight, we’re going to talk about that shit sandwich we’ve all been forced to eat: Seeds of Destruction. Truth be told, the expansion itself wasn’t all that awful. There was a nice variety of zones, a lush, vibrant storyline to follow and more quests than you could shake a dick at.

    Unfortunately, the raid content was so easy even a caveman could do it and by do it I mean design it and by design it I mean design it better than the current designers and by design it better than the current designers I mean if someone threw a fistful of shit on top of a pile of shit which was currently located on Shit Mountain of Shitsville, Poopsylvania then it would be better than the shit we’ve had to endure. I could, and definitely would, keep going but I think you get the point. I guess I shouldn’t get too upset. This isn’t the first time I’ve paid $40 to get fucked by something sad and broken. At least the expansion didn’t cower in the corner and try to call the cops while we were beating it.

    So here’s the big moneyshot. Lord Brekt: a mediocre boss for a mediocre expansion. Now enjoy the mediocre write-up of this event. I’m just trying to keep it real, fam. Anyway, we felled this great beast on 12/23/08. Congratulations to <Crimson Tempest> for defeating him the same day. I know that’s the part you’ve just been just dying to read but I’m not ashamed to mention it here. As I see it, both guilds were being fucked in the ass by this expansion at the same time and Crimson Tempest just enjoyed it enough to blow their load finish a few minutes first. Boosh.

    Now, Event 6: Overlord Muram; fuck. this. event. What the fuck is it with Event 6s in this game? They never fucking work out of the box. They’re always bugged. Now, if I had a mind for conspiracies, it’s almost as if Event 6s are intentionally left broken and unbeatable to slow down big sexy guilds like Triality from beating these expansions “too quickly”. Just kidding. There isn’t a quiet conspiracy happening here; it’s an intentional reality. At least mix it up and “unintentionally” break an Event 5 or something to cockblock us from making short work of your hard work. Or maaaybe you guys are just incapable of making 7-event end-zones because you motherfuckers just cannot. get. an. event. six. right. Jesus Christ already.

    For real though, all jokes and complaints aside – congrats to my fellow guildmates here in Triality for making it happen once again. The dedication and determination within this guild never ceases to amaze. Well done, once again.

    So that’s it for now. We’ll be farming our asses off for the next eight months. Still, be sure to check back before then because I know we’ll be having a collection of Seeds of Destruction videos popping up here between now and then. A few people here are putting some together. So come back and enjoy those.

    Before we close it out here, I wanted to hit on a personal milestone. This will be my 50th front page update on the site here. I want to thank everyone in Triality for letting me represent them here, for better or worse. Since most of the titles of these updates come directly from song names or song lyrics I am usually listening to while writing, I thought it might be fun to put together a little mixed montage of the update titles into an .mp3 It’s 45+ songs cut up into about 6 and a half minutes of pure adrenaline. Chronologically arranged and delightfully deranged, you’ll have no dry pants left in your house after you listen to it.

    Triality Update Titles Mix
    Various Artists
    (Length 6:31)

    Hasta la pasta.

    Originally posted by qxx • Feb 25, 2009 21:43
  • Quarken Era (2004-2013)

    Hail The Crimson Blur

    Yo everyone. It’s a Christmas miracle! I’m finally going to post a front page update. Under normal circumstances, I would have grinched this off as long as possible but the Ghost of Christmas Future has its cold, evil hands around my sugar plums. So, go sit under your digital chimneys and prepare for the biggest Christmas gift of them all – Seeds of Destruction. For the occasion, I thought a time honored Christmas poem would help put us in the spirit of the season.

    ‘Twas the night before Korafax and all through the zone
    Not a creature was there that we couldn’t own
    These events were all tested on beta with care
    In hopes this expansion would last a full year

    We were surprised Korafax fell with such ease!
    Only to find out we’re cockblocked by keys

    So we zoned into Tower ready to raid
    Wondering how the devs still get paid

    But what we had found as soon as we started
    All these events are fucking retarded
    The raids were so awful or dare I say worse
    Than the bittersweet feeling of these serverwide firsts

    And while we are clearly ahead of the pack
    There’s always some bug that’s holding us back
    So now we await an unlikely fix
    That will let us be first to beat event six

    Ahh, that one brings back warm memories, doesn’t it?

    You know, we could, should and typically would come here to brag. You know how we do. If cockwaving was an Olympic event, we’d be the Michael Phelps of that shit. But not this time. Not for this expansion. So far, it’s a lot like robbing someone that’s retarded: they went down easy, you got your loot but, god damn, don’t brag about it. Just do it and move on, ya? I mean, what kind of absolute losers would brag about beating this content anyway? Hah, I can only imagine. They’d probably say something like, “[nothing] has even remotely come close to slowing us down.” Or something cheesy and predictable like, “So far we have completely dominated this expansion”. I mean, can you imagine that there are people out there like that? I know, it’s crazy.

    Anyway, we have completely dominated this expansion so far. And there is nothing that has come even remotely close to slowing us down. Not because we’re awesome, but because this shit is tuned for an assisted living facility to beat – not a raid full of healthy young bucks. And since we’re still eating solid foods and not shitting our pants in our sleep, we have to ask: Could we get this shit adjusted maybe? Dial it up a bit. It’s been nothing but one night stands in Seeds of Destruction and we’re looking to settle down with something a little more long-term at this point. Less words, more pictures now!

    The first stop on our campaign of pain was Korafax, Home of the Riders. We stomped some XXL mudholes into the three events there: Mindshear Avatar, Venom Lord Ksathrax & Pallorax the Soul Slayer. There’s not much to be said about the events themselves; challenge low, lots of trash but I will say this – that balrog looking model they use for Pallorax looks fucking toight. That might be the coolest looking shit in all of EverQuest. And don’t be fooled by the weird text, that is really Venom Lord Kthxla~ or whatever. True story.

    And then…

    …the five easiest events we’ve ever seen. I’m not bullshitting you. As far as raiding end-zones go, this shit is made in New York City. So, in chronological order, here are the events and some pictures of them. There’s not much to talk about since we just ran through them like shit through a very incontinent end-game goose.

    Event 1, Mindblight

    Event 2, Trophy Room

    Event 3, Stasis

    Event 4, Scrying

    Event 5, Sacrifice

    Only one more event stands in between us and the Don Dada of Discord Lord Brekt, Rider of Discord himself. We promise a timely front page update after we smash Event(s) 6 & 7 to bring home the biiiig dubya. Super promise!

    Us too, buddy…us too.

    On behalf of everyone here at Triality, Dazinth would like to wish everyone a Happy Kwanzaa. In the spirit of his people’s blessed holiday, he will be wearing the customary Kwanzaa colors until the new year.

    Originally posted by qxx • Dec 11, 2008 01:54   
  • Quarken Era (2004-2013)

    Someone left the door open!

    Recruitment Info
    Enchanter: 1

    (Note: If you suck at life, please go here)

    A short news post, but first the important bits: It’s the summer, so if you think you’ve got what it takes to be in Triality, contact Hylea, Kayanau or Gilthanos, and if you might actually be here December 1, we’ll probably talk to you!

    I do need to report some sad news. This post should have been Quarken’s Crystallos video, but, in a ball of great fire, Quarken’s hard drive has gone to that big dustbin in the sky. Let us have a moment of silence for the Hard Drive of Awesomeness. Okay, done with that. More footage, along with a new & improved hard drive, should produce a new video, hopefully in the near future. I’m sure Quarken will be glad to be done with it.

    Originally posted by Mendix • Jul 11, 2008 23:17