Yo everyone! It is time for celebration, inebriation and admiration of the creation of this here congregation that we call Triality. Just this past month we celebrated our 5th year anniversary as a guild, and in true Triality fashion, here is the late front page update telling you all about it.
Five years is a long time to do anything. I haven’t done anything for that long consecutively except get balder and fatter. But anyone, from any guild that plays hardcore EverQuest, knows how
difficultnearly impossible it is to keep things together for any amount of years – especially five of them. Five years is a long time for a guild to stay rolling and keep our head above water. Lucky for us, we don’t just keep our head above the water – we dive into the shallow end and piss in the kiddie pool. And for some reason, that makes us a better, stronger, guild year after year. Nobody knows why; don’t ask. So this front page update is just a nod to the times we’ve had and the times we’re gonna have. So sit back and put on your readers as we reminisce; putting the mental in sentimental. 0.0WIDT?
• The History of Triality •
Holy shit, that was a lot of things we did. And you know, looking back on all those good times, I was reminded of the members, or almost members in some cases, that we came across. You know, the members who’s names we’ll never forget – and not for the good reasons. Now, we’ve seen a shitload of people come in and out of our doors over the years and Dalnoth and I don’t have the greatest memory however…
After much research and intense analysis, we complied a list of the worst most trashy players to ever ride beside us. The list was lengthy at first, but we whittled it down to the Top 10 most terrible-wrapped-in-awful candidates. And, I don’t know about you, but I can’t celebrate properly unless I’m half-cocked and ripping into someone to make myself feel better. Don’t be confused, you aren’t about to read the starting lineup in this year’s Special Olympics wiffle ball team; this is Triality’s Hall of Shame.
Neo gets the benefit of number 10 because he lasted the longest out of this pile of failure. Neo’s offense: He never met a pixel pussy he couldn’t digitally diddle. I would say I never saw Neo grouping with men, but I’m pretty sure 90% of his cyber-queens were packing in the pants behind the screens. On top of that, Neo had a nice habit of conning huge sums of platinum from unsuspecting ‘friends’ to fuel the IGE.com industrial complex. These EverQuest subscriptions ain’t gonna buy themselves, ya know.
This guy had the healing capabilities of an AIDS Super Soaker™ and the brains of a child trapped under the ice in December who gets found in June. He single-handedly paved the way for ‘judge applicants by the stupidity of their name’. So he comes in at number 9 because that was one good thing he didz0rz.
You may remember Broagg or should I say broagg.com/live-webcam-boi.htm When Broagg wasn’t snapping into a riposte discipline at the worst possible times he was offering to haul out his ‘1hb’ on his webcam for anything with a vagina. I’m pretty sure he retired and became lonelygirl15.
Dorgamer built his EverQuest portfolio with Triality and then decided to invest his profits in Momentum. I don’t know how well that worked out, but I did see him at the PoK bank filling out Chapter 11 forms and some repo-man was seizing his weapons and armor. He might have not made the list if it wasn’t for the fact that he made the decision to leave us in the middle of a Redfang fight. Stay classy, pal.
Dezyn could have been an great member of the guild if she wasn’t always so busy flying around the world to exotic locations doing photo shoots. Because, you know, she was multi-million dollar supermodel. I think it was around her extended break in Sweden when she finally got the boot. The lying wouldn’t have been so bad is she didn’t send her picture to every single person in the guild trying to really sell the lie.
Someone get Faidian a cab to the library right now! We need backup! Faid’s ISP went out one night, and being such a dedicated and hardcore player that he was, he went all the way to the library to make a post explaining his internet troubles to us and how he was very sorry he couldn’t raid with us that evening. Unfortunately for Faidian, Nuntius PI was on the IP and noticed that Faidian’s house and library had the same IP address. Whoops. Instead of accepting the hilarious embarrassment, Faidian dug himself into a pit of lies of which he couldn’t climb out. The motherfucker could rock the ill Dewey Decimal System though. Word up.
In the 5 years we’ve been a guild, Bruizerr stands out as the worst applicant in the history of Triality. Classic Bruizerr moment: Strapping Hatchet the Torturer to his chest and carbombing not just the entire raid, but specifically the rez corner we had setup. Let’s not forget about the time Bruizerr single-handedly depopped The Performer by miskeying emotes. Denied.
When you can’t find help for your Epic 2.0 quest at 3AM when only 10 people are online; 6 of which are AFK and 4 of which are bots, do you:
a.) Wait until tomorrow
b.) Flip the fuck out and deguild
c.) Flip the fuck out and deguild, talk shit about your former guild, troll their forums talking shit, deny any of this ever happened and then months later, to this very day, spam every officer in your former guild apologizing and begging to return. C for the answer. A for persistence. F for life.
postapplication?ENDMAC I’m not really sure about Alwayys. I think his massive system of third-party software became self-aware like Skynet and posted the application to the guild for him. Terminated.
Volt had the benefit of being our only Enchanter for a short period of time. And within that short period, he became an ego torpedo and thought he was the cat’s meow. The self-proclaimed King of All Enchanters took his skill of being able to mez 67 mobs simultaneously elsewhere, along with the majority of our strategies. Unfortunately for Volt, our strategies only work for us and not hastily created, second-rate, Johnny-Come-Lately shitter guilds. He realized this though, and then tried to actively recruit our entire guild into his team of failure. Unlike most of the Horrors of EverQuest listed above, Volt still actively carries disdain for anything and everything Triality. And this, my friend, has you batting in the lead-off spot for this Top Ten Team of Failure.
Now, we don’t want to seem like a hateful and bitter group of people. So now that we’ve highlighted the worst people we’ve come across in five years, I think we should throw some props out to the good shit. We’ve had a ton of members over the years who have come and gone that were/are just amazing players and megawesome people. To list them all here would be like impossible. That being said, few people retire and are missed as much as this guy and few people made us collectively laugh and question our faith in humanity as much as Fishlip. And since he was always a staple in the quote section of these updates, we’re going to take a look at the best of the worst of Fish’s whacked out brain over the years.
Well that’s really it. Just a fun relaxing update for now. The new expansion, Secrets of Faydwer, drops soon so look back here for toetags and teabags on the corpses of everything it brings to our doorstep. So, to everyone in this guild past and present, I raise my 12 ounces of Pabst Blue Ribbon in the air and salute. Here’s to swimmin’ with bow-legged women.
Originally posted by qxx • Oct 29, 2007 14:17
Yo everyone. While we take this expansion off-season to prep ourselves for the fun, excitement, cash & prizes that surely awaits us in Secrets of Faydwer, we still manage to find ways to prove that Triality has the biggest balls in the playground. Just when you thought we were the sexiest, hardest, most cunning adventurers you’d ever lay your worthless eyes on, we go and reinforce our position as The Don Megas of EverQuest by slaying the infamous Lord Nagafen. Lord Nagafen? You read that right but let me sexplain.
We’re still living in endless frustration. Sony can’t seem to keep an instance of Solteris from crashing long enough for us to complete a single fucking raid. Despite this, we still manage to gather up a full raid of stone cold killers every night. So we have to find something to do. And when we find ourselves in that position, there’s always Shrouds.
Originally posted by qxx • Aug 21, 2007 12:50
Yo everyone. As you can see by the subtle banner above, we are recruiting Clerics. And, even though we play on a server that’s more unstable than Michael J. Fox on a unicycle, crashing nightly like a DC-10, we still manage to trump and dump on everyone else out there. So if you wanna be ridin’ dirtay, check out our application requirements and send a tell to Dalnoth or Orruar in-game before you apply.
Originally posted by qxx • Jul 31, 2007 20:00
Yo everyone. Just a brief update on our comings and goings right now. Front page updates will be sparse until we get a new expansion to pounce all over. On the plus side, we’ve gotten a John Deere™ sponsorship due to the amount of farming we’ve been doing in Solteris, the Throne of Ro.
But for right now, I present to you a gift,
these two droidsa new Triality movie has been constructed showcasing our aforementioned activities in Solteris, the Throne of Ro.
The movie’s soundtrack is helped along by two bands this time: The original Scumdogs of the Universe GWAR & the merry-time mastermind Andrew WK. We hope you enjoy it.
A lot of people ask me all kinds of questions about what goes into these movies we put up on our site. So, I figured I’d share some infoz about the process. After all, sharing is caring.
I use Fraps to record everything. To get the variety of footage I need, recording usually starts immediately upon entering the zone for the first time and goes on every night until the video is rendered and uploaded. The more clips/source material I record and have to work with, then the less ‘repetitive’ the movie will feel, which is difficult when you’re limited to a single zone as the movie’s subject. That’s why as much variety in the recorded clips is critical. As an example, pre-processed/sorted/cropped source material (just the raw clips I recorded) for the Solteris movie resulted in nearly 1,000 video clips, totaling nearly 30GB of data:
A lot of those clips are really cool moments that I capture but the majority are just junk; ranging from people just standing around to me waiting for an NPCs to run through an animation and they aren’t behaving to me around to me just accidentally hitting the record button and so on…The idea is to capture something cool and interesting sort of by chance. If you try and make you’re source material ‘cool’ it’ll come out looking staged and boring. I think so anyway. The I open each clip in VirtualDub and comb through them one by one, frame by frame (no exaggeration) in order to condense it down to just the clips I feel will work best in the movie. That whittles the first batch of clips down by about half, but the storage size increases dramatically because of the increased quality and the compression change of the converted clips. Compare this image to the image shown above:
After exporting each clip from VirtualDub and saving them in .avi format, I bring them into Adobe Premiere. Within Premiere, I break them all down into proper categories to make it easier for me to know what I’m grabbing and it really makes it a whole lot easier to mix up the video. Also, this really makes it easier to make sure every landscape, event, NPC, boss, etc. makes it into the movie. Again – variety is crucial! The source material ends up categorized and looking something like this:
After that, I send it out to my team of expert Korean sweatshop animators to put together into the final product. Did I say sweatshops? I meant happyshops. At the happyshops, I’ve heard it’s just a matter of assembling the clips in Premiere over the music in a way that mixes up the visual content and hits those musical cues. Export the final product to a .wmv or whatever format makes you happy and share it with the rest of the world, hoping they like it more than you do because I promise you’ll be sick of your own creation at this point!
Originally posted by qxx • Jul 18, 2007 00:14
Yo everyone. If my clock is right, it’s update:30 on this Hangover Sunday. So, down some Alka-Seltzer™ and keep your Bud mud ass off the toilet for 10 seconds: it’s time for a front page update.
Last time you came by here, we were taking turns riding Commodus, Solar Construct like a mechanical bull through Solteris, the Throne of Ro. We had just finished Event 6, The Final Portal, and we were salivating for the chance at an omnipotent threesome with Two Gods: Mayong Mistmoore and Solusek Ro. We made those dreams a reality and, post-coitus, we did what any gentleman would do: bundled them up, threw them in the trunk and found a nice comfortable ravine for them to go to sleepy-time in.
Get in the fuckin‘ trunk.
I feel like a broken record sometimes. It’s pretty exhausting to come here after we we beat each event, usually before anyone else, and bitch. Bitch because the events aren’t working, bitch because loot sucks or bitch because these events haven’t been tested or tuned. Like in the case of Two Gods, the shit wasn’t beatable by any ways possible for a while. I could come here, write some hi-lar-ious commentary about how Two Gods was a gayer experience than Liberace teabagging a ball-gagged unicorn that’s shitting rainbow sherbet into an even gayer unicorns mouth, but why bother? It’s not funny anymore. I mean it is if you really picture that unicorn thing but ya, it’s tiresome by now. Show some effort into getting this shit worked out and working proper before you have throngs of people wasting weeks upon weeks, losing to your expansions for no actual reason. Also, give Nodyin a raise and some hookers. He’s the sole reason we aren’t at your gates with pitchforks and torches firebombing your faces.
I want to congratulate this here group of marauders that we call Triality on another remarkable victory. With this one now in the books, we become the 1st guild in all of EverQuest to conquer The Buried Sea. What’s that now? Two 1st place finishes in a row? We’re putting the nasty in dynasty. I hope the other guilds don’t get too upset being below us. At least you get to look up Kela’s miniskirt but be warned: her big, swinging e-penis is twice the size of yours.
Well that will do it for this edition. Between now and the imminent slaughter of the next expansion, you can check back here for our Solteris raid video which is in the works. Until then, don’t let your meat loaf, kid.
Originally posted by qxx • Jun 10, 2007 15:56
Originally posted by qxx • June 08, 2007 21:20
Yo everyone. I think we’ll start this update off with a little Show & Tell. There is nothing like a group activity to help us get to know each other a little bit better. And what is TrialityGuild.com if not a place to nurture sharing, caring and understanding:
So, what is that? In addition to the inspiring quote from one of the greatest assassins to ever live, that scrap of paper indicates the amount of times Commodus, Solar Construct and his roving band of solar-twinks smashed our crotch-kiwis into oblivion.
There are 54 marks on that piece of paper. Fifty. Four. To put that into perspective, we wiped to Overlord Mata Muram 22 times before finally capturing and delivering him to Jabba the Hutt and that was considered excessive. By the 22nd time, we were ready to throw our hands in the air
and wave them like we just don’t careand just accept that Mata Muram had our number.
Going into the 6th event of Solteris, The Final Portal, the word on the street was nobody would be able to beat this event for at least 6 months. I don’t know what data went into that estimation, this is just what we were told by the powers that be. Now, if you know anything about us, you know we’re not going to sit on our asses waiting 6 months, doing nothing. So we did the only thing we could do at that point: throw ourselves into the jaws of an ‘unbeatable’ event enough times until we figured out a way to make it beatable.
It took us less than a month.
Because last night we went into Solteris, the Throne of Ro, walked up to Commodus and ate his lunch right out from under his fat fucking face, shanked him in the neck and threw him into the trunk of our ’64. With our gangsta lean in tact, we hit the three wheel motion and dumped his ass in the Quincy quarries. After trying and dying 53 times, it felt amazing to see this event finally defeated. We were so horny after the kill, we could have impregnated a slab of granite. True story.
One more event to go…
Originally posted by qxx • May 10, 2007 20:52
Yo everyone. Commodus, Solar Construct is defeated and in less than the predicted 6 months time – imagine that. Expect a real update with loot, screenshots and color commentary after we each finish taking turns ghostriding Commodus’ around The Final Portal.
Originally posted by qxx • May 09, 2007 23:49
Yo everyone. This front page update may or may not be a few days past due. But that’s OK, friends, because we are here to announce something mega.
We are officially the 1st guild to beat everyone in defeating Solteris, the Throne of Ro.
As our previous front page update noted, we had beaten the first two events in Solteris. And as you will soon read, we have now beaten the next three amazing encounters, bringing us to a grand total of five. At this point, you’re probably thinking, “There are seven events, dickhead. How can you claim you’re the 1st to beat an expansion when you haven’t even finished it yet. What happens if you get too cocky and some other awesome, younger, more handsome and well hung guild beats you to the end boss and
fuckskills it, you self-righteous, egotistical, sore-losing douche bag[s]?”
Well, as you very well know: that doesn’t matter. We have progressed further and faster than any other guild through this zone and if we get beaten by someone to the end, that just means we lost only two of the seven events to them, still beating them by five. Leaving us as the BEST OVERALL Solteris raiders this side of the Mason-Dixon. And really that’s all that matters. You and your logic will never be able to pry this twisted view of accomplishment from my cold, dying, irrelevant hands. Now, if you would excuse me, it’s almost bedtime and I need to do my stretches or I’ll never be able to auto-fellate while giving myself a round of applause.
Now that we’re all caught up on the logistics of what makes a winner in this world, let’s take a look at these three amazing events I had mentioned we recently beat.
First off is my personal favorite, Stalwart Defenders. This event requires you to crack this golem a real onesy-twosey across his smug little chin. But don’t get too over anxious there, Sugar Ray Rodney King, or you’re gonna be hauled into the big house by the Solteris Riot Squad. We posted bail and collected out loot.
Next event, just over the bridge, is The Captured Portal spearheaded by Astire, the Lunar Eclipse. This fight is just a ‘lil gem of heaven. We dispatched our boys in at the 4th Precinct to put the muscle on this fella.
Finally, we have the Portal to Dreadspire being guarded by the hermaphroditic spider Irrissa the Seer. An epic battle. So unbelievably epic, I forgot to get a screenshot so here’s a shot of the aftermath.
And that’s really it for now. More to come, more to come. So check back for the epic conclusion of Solteris, the Throne of Ro.
Tool of the Month
Originally posted by qxx • April 03, 2007 18:23
Yo everyone. We took some time away from finding new and inventive ways of beating daily-modified Solteris raids to put together another video. This is just a ‘lil 44 second video with a teaser of Solteris, the Throne of Ro but mainly a tribute to all the folks here in Triality that make things great.
Originally posted by qxx • Mar 19, 2007 23:01