• Quarken Era (2004-2013)

    Farewell, Mona Lisa

    Yo everyone. I’ve been trying to think about what to put up here for a few days and, either because I don’t want to think of it or just can’t, I’m not sure what to say. So I figure, just treat it like a band aid and tear some shit off. Thinking has never been one of my favorite things to do and there is no reason to start now.

    As of tonight, we’ve turned the page and finished another chapter in EverQuest history: Triality has decided to shut the doors that it has had open since October 2002 and put the brakes on raiding and recruiting. On behalf of those that put their love and time into this guild, I want to thank all the leaders, officers and members that made an amazing guild possible for the past 11 years. That is no small feat and without all of you, it could have never happened.

    Triality was different than any other guild I’ve ever been a part of. Triality was all about doing things our way. Doesn’t matter what was the right way or what was the traditional way; we’re doing shit our way. For better or worse, that mentality persisted from Day 1 until this day, 11 years later, and allowed us to be the #1 EverQuest guild in the entire world for quite a while.

    I consider myself lucky, really lucky, to have been a part of something like Triality. Outside of the game, friends would ask why I’d play the same game for 13 years. And I would explain it to them time and time again: it’s not just the game, it’s the people. And while they understood that concept they could never really understand that concept.

    I’ve been a member of Triality for 1/3 of my life. When I joined Triality, I was a single dude in my early 20s and today I’m in my early 30s, married with a lower-case q on the way and a head full of memories which aren’t made by just a game but are made by some amazing people and experiences which transcend pixels and an internet connection.

    So thanks. Thanks to all of my guild leaders, officers and members which let me and scores of others enjoy their time in EverQuest that much more because you all had the passion and drive for the people, the game and most importantly the guild. We all appreciate it more than me or anyone else could ever express in size 6 Arial font.

    We’ll all find new guilds in EverQuest to enjoy the game for years to come and while it might never be like what we all got to experience in Triality, just remember: You feel that way because you were one of the lucky ones that got to experience what it meant to be a member of Triality. Don’t ever forget that shit.

    – Quarken Xired
    tl;dr Level 100 Warrior LFG


    Triality vs.
    Seeds of Destruction
    Triality vs.
    The Underfoot
    Triality vs.
    Solteris, the Throne of Ro
    Triality vs.
    Meldrath’s Majestic Mansion
    Triality vs.
    Ashengate, Reliquary of the Scale
    Triality vs.
    Frostcrypt, Throne of the Shade King
    Triality presents
    A Night in Solteris
    Triality Shrouds vs.
    Lord Nagafen
    Triality presents
    Wipezilla
    Triality:
    Class of 2007
    EverQuest: A Journey Through Time
    by Quarken Xired
    The Fabled Adventurer Grand Prize Winner, 2008

    What did you expect from us? We’re murderers.
    Murderers and liars and rapists and thieves.
    Originally posted by qxx • Sep 03, 2013 00:38
  • Quarken Era (2004-2013)

    Fix Your Face

    Yo everyone. Twas the night before Christmas and all through the /guild, was “update the site with the shit that we killed”. Yes, Christmas comes early this year. Tell your Moms to return those new rubber bed sheets you had your eye on – the real gift has arrived: a timely and massive website update from your friends at TrialityGuild.com. Personally, I was banking on all the hype that we’d be smashed into happiness oblivion by a Mayan asteroid and I could eternally slack but I guess my Christmas wish isn’t getting granted this year.

    You’ve probably noticed that new and previously unthinkable levels of slack were being set here, as far as website front page updates go. The Veil of Alaris update was small, even by my standards. But don’t worry your pretty little faces about it; we’re still rampaging our way through Norrath, strong as ever. We’ve recently defeated King Xorbb and the rest of the Rain of Fear expansion, which is what brings us here today. So wut da deal wit da slack yo? is what you’re probably asking to your computer screens aloud, in the dark. If you promise to stop slobbering on me, I’ll tell you…

    I don’t usually drone on too much about myself on this here website of ours. And truth is, I don’t have to now that my best-selling autobiography, Being Great at Being Awesome: The Life & Times of the Internet’s Greatest Hero, Quarken Xired is now required reading in 76% of schools, grades K-12. You pretty much know everything you need to know about me. But what you wouldn’t have read in The Book was: I was away getting married. I know you’re happy for me, and I appreciate that. But anyway…tell you more? Oh come now, I couldn’t. Oh, alright.

    There’s not much to tell really, it’s the same age old story we’ve all heard before: Girl finds guy, guy finds EverQuest, girl doesn’t know when to abandon ship, guy crushes girl’s spirit over the span of 12 years and finally asks the question, “We might as well get married”. Not much of a question really but she could’ve run for her life. I’ll put you down for a “congratulations” and we’re registered at Macy’s. Etiquette says you have a year to produce a gift, so make it a good one. But enough about my romance novel of a life, the important thing is that I’m back and so are the website updates and me lying about doing website updates. Speaking of decade long things that destroy your will to live, we have some actual celebrating to do up in hurrr.


    This past Fall, Triality celebrated it’s 10th year of putting the nasty in dynasty. All jokes and pseudo-ego maniacal banter aside, I want to say thanks and congratulations to everyone that got us here. Everyone who plays this game knows it is no easy task to keep a guild together and running, and keeping it up and running for 10 years is a straight up miracle. There is a reason for that though and the reason is the people, past and present, that put in the time to keep our little digital family functioning. You’re only as strong as your weakest link and we’ve been lucky enough to have a lot of strong links in this 10 year chain. So thanks to the guildleaders that have donated their time and sanity over the years; Orruar, Mendix, Dalno(th), the army of Officers and the longtime members (Midasa, 10 years in February) and our man Nuntius, giving us a place to fuck around outside of the game. It’s because of all you cats that people like me have a chance to log in everyday and enjoy the game with our friends. Here’s to another 10 years, God forbid willing.


    So what have we been doing? If you guessed, “Shit-packing every event in Rain of Fear” then a winner is you. Even though this expansion has been easy, and I mean easy, it was still really fun. I don’t know why, but this expansion has been significantly more enjoyable than Veil of Alaris. Maybe its because it doesn’t have an AIDS sandwich of a flagging system that we’re forced to take a bite of after every event. Actually, that’s exactly what it is. So thanks for that, the ‘flagging’ system in Rain of Fear is proper as fuck and long overdue. Now, let’s just move away from the 54 man raid events and we’ll almost have a modern day MMO on our hands.

    Rain of Fear, where do we start – King Xorbb? Tier 2? I suppose we should at least take the time to highlight all the events in the expansion, since we blew through them like shit through a goose and didn’t have a second to stop and update the front page of the website with our progress. So let’s get to it.


    Shard’s Landing has one of the funnest raids in the expansion, Calling Phantasm, and it’s the first one out of the gate. You know it’s gonna be a dope event when you pull up and High Priest Syltetzalvek is wearing Solid Crystal Oxygenating Hand-Aquariums. But since it’s just a big kid Pull-Ups© version of the group event, as is par for the course around here, there’s no sense in wasting time talking about it; you’ve all seen it. So I think we can all agree that it was refreshing to see something new in EverQuest for once. I’m not too proud to say, we got lucky with the clues on our first shot at this event and successfully discovered the murderer in record time.


    Next was The Madness of King Tormax which might be the best thing in the history of things, worldwide, event better than this. I didn’t bother to read the lore or the storyline about how they managed to retcon or alternate-universe the Velious storyline in order to get Dain-motherfucking-Frostreaver IV, King ‘my pimp hand has a pimp hand’ Tormax and Lord ‘nickname to be named later’ Yelinak in the same room and I don’t give a fuck. I will not question this miracle, I’m just happy it happened. It’s like when Batman and Robin would wind up in a Scooby-Doo cartoon; don’t ask, just enjoy it and masturbate furiously to it.


    Jesus Christ it is late. What’s next? Oh god, Danela’s Stand. What the fuck were they thinking with this one. Again, as you all already know but just in case you don’t: the object here is to drop rocks from the ceiling which is like 100 feet high, down onto Danela. Sounds like normal right? The only problem is EverQuest is so fucking old that is has a collision system that’s worse than a Tiger Handheld. In any modern game, this would be all peaches and cream but put lipstick on a pig and it’s still EverQuest. Let’s understand our shortcomings and work around them. I know we’re trying to “set a new standard of gameplay” here but don’t build entire events highlighting and trying to forcefuck those short comings into everyone’s raid experience. What I’m telling you is, EQ just doesn’t have the skills, agility, the skagility to make this sort of thing work naturally. It feels clunky as shit. Anyway, this event is a lot like sex: there’s a woman, positioning is important and we’re not very good at it.


    Zeixshi-Kar’s Shard was the next event we killed. Pretty decent DPS event. Just a shitload of drakes, giants, dwarfs and a dragon. It’s like old school EverQuest condensed into a nice purple dome.


    I think we killed The Queen’s Decree next. Ya, Grelleth, Her Majesty the Queen. Just to set the stage here: This event is a purple BBW pig queen that calls upon like six(?) of her exclusively male kids to help her kill the intruders, e.g. our raid force. Like, okay whatever, seemingly normal enough on the surface. Right? Then the dialogue hits and it is sus af. SUS AYY EFF:

    The dialogue reads like something out Oedipus’s tortured subconscious and that’s just one snippet. There’s a whole event just full of this shit. I mean, we kind of take it at face value when we see it play out ‘in character’ within the context and confines of the game. H O W E V E R someone was sitting there at a keyboard typing up what they considered to be normal raid banter and scripting but in reality they likely have more mommy issues than Good Housekeeping magazine. Honest question here: Who writes this crazy shi-


    After shitting my last 4 meals onto Frankie’s basement floor, he was hauled away by the proper authorities and we moved on to Heart of the Oak. This event is one of those events that makes you wonder, “What actually happens on beta anyway?”. Who beta tested this event, for real? There is no way that the first half of this event should have been given a clean bill of health. There are more bugs than Lohan’s vagina, the event resets seemingly at random, you have to perform mundane and forever-long tasks to progress the event and as if that wasn’t enough, you have to stand inside what appears to be The Asshole of Norrath. Fitting I suppose. Once you blast past the ass and get to the final boss fight, it’s actually pretty good. The event has some cool shit going on and I dig the boss; looks pretty dope if you’re into that vagina dentata thing (and I am nomnomnomnom).


    I mean, it’s like 4am on Christmas morning. What the hell has gone wrong in my life that put me here at this moment in time. I’m not sure, but what I do know is we prepared A Feast For Zalikor next! Sorry Zalikor, the only thing on the menu for your feast, is our massive balls. EAT UP. Hiyoooooo! I’m officially exhausted at this point. This event is pretty dope. The Breeding Grounds is a kick ass looking zone too. More importantly, Zalikor got Nipsy’d.


    The last mofaka in tier 2 that we had the pleasure of smashing was my nigga Marnek J. Best part about this event was that even the necro NPCs are still using the Epic 2.0 – now that shit is hilarious. This is another pretty cool event. I like this one, I think we all enjoyed it. To be honest, pretty much every event (except the first half of Evantill) is fun enough. Of course, with this proper flagging system and beating the expansion before Christmas, it’s hard to put me in a bad mood. I’d be all fire and brimstone if we didn’t beat the expansion before the holidays. That’d suck. Big time. I think I’ve filled this paragraph enough, on to the picture!


    Finally, the moment we’ve all been waiting for, well the moment I’ve been waiting for because that means I can almost go to bed – the Valley of King Xorbb and the end of this lengthy, but educational, website update!

    So we entered this fool sucka’s Valley a little late; almost 2 weeks behind our competition. But we ended up smashing through it and taking back our rightful spot on the throne, finishing 1st on Drinal server. That’s good shit right there and I want to congratulate all my brethren in Triality for their hard work, raiding until the wee hours, and still having a fucking blast to make that shit happen. I’ve said it a lot over the course of 10 years and goddammit I’ll say it again: You guys kick ass and never cease to amaze.





    I feel like we all went on an adventure together tonight; an adventure of writing, and pictures, and dick jokes and more pictures, and gallons of Diet Coke and enough Sour Patch Kids to clog a wood chipper. All in all, the expansion is fun. The events are all pretty fresh and everyone seemed to have a good time romping through it. But the highlight of the entire thing…the real reason why Rain of Fear is the second best expansion in the history of the game: North. Temple. Of. Veeshan.

    Whoever’s idea it was to put a beefed up version of NToV in the game should get free blowjobs for life. NToV is, without question, the best raiding experience money can buy. I was all excited that I might get to update the front page of the website with old school screenshots of those dragon bodies, reliving the raids of yesteryear but with so much other shit to talk about, and my desire to get more than 3 hours of sleep tonight, I’ll just leave you with these:

    Only real Gs can click this image.

    So that’s it, my friends; Rain of Fear abridged. I know we’ve kind of covered everything here, not leaving much for another update until we get some new Rain of Fear content in a few months but we have some shit planned. It’s our 10 Year Anniversary, we gotta throw up something good. So we’ll have another update soonish and it’ll have the goods. For example, we’ll be mixing up a Rain of Fear video like so much funzie and something else special that I think people might have fun reading. Ooooh, that’s what we in the business call a teaser.

    Merry Christmas, my Nigerian princes!



    Slaughter your family and then break for lunch.
    There’s not a pair of dry pants in the bunch.
    Originally posted by qxx • Dec 25, 2013 03:44   
  • Quarken Era (2004-2013)

    Oi To The World

    Yo everyone. Twas the night before Christmas and all through the /guild, was “update the site with the shit that we killed”. Yes, Christmas comes early this year. Tell your Moms to return those new rubber bed sheets you had your eye on – the real gift has arrived: a timely and massive website update from your friends at TrialityGuild.com. Personally, I was banking on all the hype that we’d be smashed into happiness oblivion by a Mayan asteroid and I could eternally slack but I guess my Christmas wish isn’t getting granted this year.

    You’ve probably noticed that new and previously unthinkable levels of slack were being set here, as far as website front page updates go. The Veil of Alaris update was small, even by my standards. But don’t worry your pretty little faces about it; we’re still rampaging our way through Norrath, strong as ever. We’ve recently defeated King Xorbb and the rest of the Rain of Fear expansion, which is what brings us here today. So wut da deal wit da slack yo? is what you’re probably asking to your computer screens aloud, in the dark. If you promise to stop slobbering on me, I’ll tell you…

    I don’t usually drone on too much about myself on this here website of ours. And truth is, I don’t have to now that my best-selling autobiography, Being Great at Being Awesome: The Life & Times of the Internet’s Greatest Hero, Quarken Xired is now required reading in 76% of schools, grades K-12. You pretty much know everything you need to know about me. But what you wouldn’t have read in The Book was: I was away getting married. I know you’re happy for me, and I appreciate that. But anyway…tell you more? Oh come now, I couldn’t. Oh, alright.

    There’s not much to tell really, it’s the same age old story we’ve all heard before: Girl finds guy, guy finds EverQuest, girl doesn’t know when to abandon ship, guy crushes girl’s spirit over the span of 12 years and finally asks the question, “We might as well get married”. Not much of a question really but she could’ve run for her life. I’ll put you down for a “congratulations” and we’re registered at Macy’s. Etiquette says you have a year to produce a gift, so make it a good one. But enough about my romance novel of a life, the important thing is that I’m back and so are the website updates and me lying about doing website updates. Speaking of decade long things that destroy your will to live, we have some actual celebrating to do up in hurrr.


    This past Fall, Triality celebrated it’s 10th year of putting the nasty in dynasty. All jokes and pseudo-ego maniacal banter aside, I want to say thanks and congratulations to everyone that got us here. Everyone who plays this game knows it is no easy task to keep a guild together and running, and keeping it up and running for 10 years is a straight up miracle. There is a reason for that though and the reason is the people, past and present, that put in the time to keep our little digital family functioning. You’re only as strong as your weakest link and we’ve been lucky enough to have a lot of strong links in this 10 year chain. So thanks to the guildleaders that have donated their time and sanity over the years; Orruar, Mendix, Dalno(th), the army of Officers and the longtime members (Midasa, 10 years in February) and our man Nuntius, giving us a place to fuck around outside of the game. It’s because of all you cats that people like me have a chance to log in everyday and enjoy the game with our friends. Here’s to another 10 years, God forbid willing.


    So what have we been doing? If you guessed, “Shit-packing every event in Rain of Fear” then a winner is you. Even though this expansion has been easy, and I mean easy, it was still really fun. I don’t know why, but this expansion has been significantly more enjoyable than Veil of Alaris. Maybe its because it doesn’t have an AIDS sandwich of a flagging system that we’re forced to take a bite of after every event. Actually, that’s exactly what it is. So thanks for that, the ‘flagging’ system in Rain of Fear is proper as fuck and long overdue. Now, let’s just move away from the 54 man raid events and we’ll almost have a modern day MMO on our hands.

    Rain of Fear, where do we start – King Xorbb? Tier 2? I suppose we should at least take the time to highlight all the events in the expansion, since we blew through them like shit through a goose and didn’t have a second to stop and update the front page of the website with our progress. So let’s get to it.


    Shard’s Landing has one of the funnest raids in the expansion, Calling Phantasm, and it’s the first one out of the gate. You know it’s gonna be a dope event when you pull up and High Priest Syltetzalvek is wearing Solid Crystal Oxygenating Hand-Aquariums. But since it’s just a big kid Pull-Ups© version of the group event, as is par for the course around here, there’s no sense in wasting time talking about it; you’ve all seen it. So I think we can all agree that it was refreshing to see something new in EverQuest for once. I’m not too proud to say, we got lucky with the clues on our first shot at this event and successfully discovered the murderer in record time.


    Next was The Madness of King Tormax which might be the best thing in the history of things, worldwide, event better than this. I didn’t bother to read the lore or the storyline about how they managed to retcon or alternate-universe the Velious storyline in order to get Dain-motherfucking-Frostreaver IV, King ‘my pimp hand has a pimp hand’ Tormax and Lord ‘nickname to be named later’ Yelinak in the same room and I don’t give a fuck. I will not question this miracle, I’m just happy it happened. It’s like when Batman and Robin would wind up in a Scooby-Doo cartoon; don’t ask, just enjoy it and masturbate furiously to it.


    Jesus Christ it is late. What’s next? Oh god, Danela’s Stand. What the fuck were they thinking with this one. Again, as you all already know but just in case you don’t: the object here is to drop rocks from the ceiling which is like 100 feet high, down onto Danela. Sounds like normal right? The only problem is EverQuest is so fucking old that is has a collision system that’s worse than a Tiger Handheld. In any modern game, this would be all peaches and cream but put lipstick on a pig and it’s still EverQuest. Let’s understand our shortcomings and work around them. I know we’re trying to “set a new standard of gameplay” here but don’t build entire events highlighting and trying to forcefuck those short comings into everyone’s raid experience. What I’m telling you is, EQ just doesn’t have the skills, agility, the skagility to make this sort of thing work naturally. It feels clunky as shit. Anyway, this event is a lot like sex: there’s a woman, positioning is important and we’re not very good at it.


    Zeixshi-Kar’s Shard was the next event we killed. Pretty decent DPS event. Just a shitload of drakes, giants, dwarfs and a dragon. It’s like old school EverQuest condensed into a nice purple dome.


    I think we killed The Queen’s Decree next. Ya, Grelleth, Her Majesty the Queen. Just to set the stage here: This event is a purple BBW pig queen that calls upon like six(?) of her exclusively male kids to help her kill the intruders, e.g. our raid force. Like, okay whatever, seemingly normal enough on the surface. Right? Then the dialogue hits and it is sus af. SUS AYY EFF:

    The dialogue reads like something out Oedipus’s tortured subconscious and that’s just one snippet. There’s a whole event just full of this shit. I mean, we kind of take it at face value when we see it play out ‘in character’ within the context and confines of the game. H O W E V E R someone was sitting there at a keyboard typing up what they considered to be normal raid banter and scripting but in reality they likely have more mommy issues than Good Housekeeping magazine. Honest question here: Who writes this crazy shi-


    After shitting my last 4 meals onto Frankie’s basement floor, he was hauled away by the proper authorities and we moved on to Heart of the Oak. This event is one of those events that makes you wonder, “What actually happens on beta anyway?”. Who beta tested this event, for real? There is no way that the first half of this event should have been given a clean bill of health. There are more bugs than Lohan’s vagina, the event resets seemingly at random, you have to perform mundane and forever-long tasks to progress the event and as if that wasn’t enough, you have to stand inside what appears to be The Asshole of Norrath. Fitting I suppose. Once you blast past the ass and get to the final boss fight, it’s actually pretty good. The event has some cool shit going on and I dig the boss; looks pretty dope if you’re into that vagina dentata thing (and I am nomnomnomnom).


    I mean, it’s like 4am on Christmas morning. What the hell has gone wrong in my life that put me here at this moment in time. I’m not sure, but what I do know is we prepared A Feast For Zalikor next! Sorry Zalikor, the only thing on the menu for your feast, is our massive balls. EAT UP. Hiyoooooo! I’m officially exhausted at this point. This event is pretty dope. The Breeding Grounds is a kick ass looking zone too. More importantly, Zalikor got Nipsy’d.


    The last mofaka in tier 2 that we had the pleasure of smashing was my nigga Marnek J. Best part about this event was that even the necro NPCs are still using the Epic 2.0 – now that shit is hilarious. This is another pretty cool event. I like this one, I think we all enjoyed it. To be honest, pretty much every event (except the first half of Evantill) is fun enough. Of course, with this proper flagging system and beating the expansion before Christmas, it’s hard to put me in a bad mood. I’d be all fire and brimstone if we didn’t beat the expansion before the holidays. That’d suck. Big time. I think I’ve filled this paragraph enough, on to the picture!


    Finally, the moment we’ve all been waiting for, well the moment I’ve been waiting for because that means I can almost go to bed – the Valley of King Xorbb and the end of this lengthy, but educational, website update!

    So we entered this fool sucka’s Valley a little late; almost 2 weeks behind our competition. But we ended up smashing through it and taking back our rightful spot on the throne, finishing 1st on Drinal server. That’s good shit right there and I want to congratulate all my brethren in Triality for their hard work, raiding until the wee hours, and still having a fucking blast to make that shit happen. I’ve said it a lot over the course of 10 years and goddammit I’ll say it again: You guys kick ass and never cease to amaze.





    I feel like we all went on an adventure together tonight; an adventure of writing, and pictures, and dick jokes and more pictures, and gallons of Diet Coke and enough Sour Patch Kids to clog a wood chipper. All in all, the expansion is fun. The events are all pretty fresh and everyone seemed to have a good time romping through it. But the highlight of the entire thing…the real reason why Rain of Fear is the second best expansion in the history of the game: North. Temple. Of. Veeshan.

    Whoever’s idea it was to put a beefed up version of NToV in the game should get free blowjobs for life. NToV is, without question, the best raiding experience money can buy. I was all excited that I might get to update the front page of the website with old school screenshots of those dragon bodies, reliving the raids of yesteryear but with so much other shit to talk about, and my desire to get more than 3 hours of sleep tonight, I’ll just leave you with these:

    Only real Gs can click this image.

    So that’s it, my friends; Rain of Fear abridged. I know we’ve kind of covered everything here, not leaving much for another update until we get some new Rain of Fear content in a few months but we have some shit planned. It’s our 10 Year Anniversary, we gotta throw up something good. So we’ll have another update soonish and it’ll have the goods. For example, we’ll be mixing up a Rain of Fear video like so much funzie and something else special that I think people might have fun reading. Ooooh, that’s what we in the business call a teaser.

    Merry Christmas, my Nigerian princes!



    Slaughter your family and then break for lunch.
    There’s not a pair of dry pants in the bunch.
    Originally posted by qxx • Dec 25, 2013 03:44   
  • Quarken Era (2004-2013)

    5 Years Long. 5 Years Strong.

    Yo everyone! It is time for celebration, inebriation and admiration of the creation of this here congregation that we call Triality. Just this past month we celebrated our 5th year anniversary as a guild, and in true Triality fashion, here is the late front page update telling you all about it.

    Five years is a long time to do anything. I haven’t done anything for that long consecutively except get balder and fatter. But anyone, from any guild that plays hardcore EverQuest, knows how difficult nearly impossible it is to keep things together for any amount of years – especially five of them. Five years is a long time for a guild to stay rolling and keep our head above water. Lucky for us, we don’t just keep our head above the water – we dive into the shallow end and piss in the kiddie pool. And for some reason, that makes us a better, stronger, guild year after year. Nobody knows why; don’t ask. So this front page update is just a nod to the times we’ve had and the times we’re gonna have. So sit back and put on your readers as we reminisce; putting the mental in sentimental. 0.0WIDT?


    • The History of Triality •

    2002

    • Oct

      Orruar’s water breaks. Triality spills forward in a red and raging mist.

    2003

    • Feb

      Emperor Ssraeshza is destroyed.

    • Jul

      Rallos Zek the Warlord is smashed.

    • Aug

      Solusek Ro killed at 8:00AM in the morning while <Eternal Advocates> tried their best to stop us from gaining Plane of Fire access.

    • Sep

      Fennin Ro, The Tyrant of Fire is extinguished.

    • Oct

      Xegony, The Queen of Air is deflated.

    • Nov

      The Rathe Council & the Avatar of Earth take a dirt nap.

    • Nov

      Coirnav, The Avatar of Water is flushed, despite <Caer Cadarn>’s best efforts to stop us.

    • Dec

      Quarm is drawn and quartered.

    2004

    • May

      Uqua, The Ocean God Chantry is tactically infiltrated.

    • Jun

      Noqufiel is assassinated.

    • Jun

      Quarken begins doing front page news updates at TrialityGuild.com. Lonely housewives everywhere now have something to masturbate to other than cookbooks and minivans.

    • Jul

      Txevu, Lair of the Elite is raped and pillaged.

    • Oct

      Triality beats 4 out of 6 Muramite Proving Grounds Raid Trials before anyone else.

    • Oct

      Triality becomes the 2nd guild to enter The Asylum of Anguish.

    • Nov

      Naturalhealer Evertease completes the first Cleric Epic 2.0 quest in the entire game – Aegis of Superior Divinity

    • Dec

      Medaan Songweaver completes the first Bard Epic 2.0 quest in the entire game – Blade of Vesagran

    • Dec

      Dalnoth Domination completes the first Rogue Epic 2.0 quest in the entire game – Nightshade, Blade of Entropy

    2005

    • Jan

      Triality is the 3rd guild to rescue Jelvan.

    • Feb

      Tunat’Muram Cuu Vauax and the dungeon of Tacvi are defeated.

    • Mar

      Sony commandeers the Death Star and blows up our home planet of Vazaelle. Maelin Starpyre was far too remote for an effective demonstration.

    • 19-matav2

      Jun

      Overlord Mata Muram is defeated with only 47 people (6 clerics) & before the mask debacle was uncovered.

    • Jul

      Vishimtar the Fallen is felled.

    • Sep

      Triality nearly disbands in our darkest hour.

    • Dec

      After rebuilding the guild & regearing new members, Triality kills Sendaii, the Hive Queen with only 48 people (4 clerics & 1 retard) to gain access to the The Demiplane of Blood. Officially sponsored by Alcoholics Anonymous at this point.

    2006

    • Feb

      Redfang gets his wings clipped.

    • Mar

      Mayong Mistmoore has been slain by Triality.

    • Mar

      Triality finishes the Depths of Darkhollow expansion with a respectable 7th place finish after nearly disbanding in September and being the 30th-something guild to enter the Demi-Plane of Blood.

    • Jun

      Triality enters Deathknell, Tower of Dissonance.

    • Jul

      Ayonae Ro has her throat sliced.

    • Oct

      Solving the bugs and puzzles of King Odeen, Triality becomes the 1st guild into Frostcrypt, Throne of the Shade King.

    • Nov

      Lorekeeper Grenwald and the first dungeon of Frostcrypt are defeated.

    • Nov

      Movie: Frostcrypt, Throne of the Shade King.

    • Nov

      Beltron the Shade King and the second dungeon of Frostcrypt are defeated.

    • Dec

      Lethar the Black and Ashengate, Reliquary of the Scale are defeated.

    • Dec

      Triality finishes The Serpent’s Spine expansion in 1st place. Becoming the first guild from both the Vazaelle and Maelin Starpyre servers to deliver a game-wide 1st place finish and setting many first place achievements along the way.

    • Dec

      Movie: Ashengate, Reliquary of the Scale.

    2007

    • Mar

      Triality is invited to be featured in Sony Online Entertainment’s “Feel The Burn” Solteris raid preview movie.

    • Mar

      Movie: Triality, Class of 2007 featuing every member of Triality at the time it was made.

    • Jun

      Triality finishes The Buried Sea expansion in 1st place – 20 days before the 2nd place guild & 72 days before the 3rd place guild.

    • Jun

      Movie: A Night in Solteris a.k.a. “Why?”

    • Jul

      Movie: Solteris, Throne of Ro.

    • Aug

      Movie: Triality Shrouds vs. Lord Nagafen

    • Oct

      Triality celebrates its fifth anniversary. You are here.


    Holy shit, that was a lot of things we did. And you know, looking back on all those good times, I was reminded of the members, or almost members in some cases, that we came across. You know, the members who’s names we’ll never forget – and not for the good reasons. Now, we’ve seen a shitload of people come in and out of our doors over the years and Dalnoth and I don’t have the greatest memory however…

    After much research and intense analysis, we complied a list of the worst most trashy players to ever ride beside us. The list was lengthy at first, but we whittled it down to the Top 10 most terrible-wrapped-in-awful candidates. And, I don’t know about you, but I can’t celebrate properly unless I’m half-cocked and ripping into someone to make myself feel better. Don’t be confused, you aren’t about to read the starting lineup in this year’s Special Olympics wiffle ball team; this is Triality’s Hall of Shame.

    10. Neomatrixx
    Neo gets the benefit of number 10 because he lasted the longest out of this pile of failure. Neo’s offense: He never met a pixel pussy he couldn’t digitally diddle. I would say I never saw Neo grouping with men, but I’m pretty sure 90% of his cyber-queens were packing in the pants behind the screens. On top of that, Neo had a nice habit of conning huge sums of platinum from unsuspecting ‘friends’ to fuel the IGE.com industrial complex. These EverQuest subscriptions ain’t gonna buy themselves, ya know.

    9. Healszorz
    This guy had the healing capabilities of an AIDS Super Soaker™ and the brains of a child trapped under the ice in December who gets found in June. He single-handedly paved the way for ‘judge applicants by the stupidity of their name’. So he comes in at number 9 because that was one good thing he didz0rz.

    8. Broagg
    You may remember Broagg or should I say broagg.com/live-webcam-boi.htm When Broagg wasn’t snapping into a riposte discipline at the worst possible times he was offering to haul out his ‘1hb’ on his webcam for anything with a vagina. I’m pretty sure he retired and became lonelygirl15.

    7. Dorgamer
    Dorgamer built his EverQuest portfolio with Triality and then decided to invest his profits in Momentum. I don’t know how well that worked out, but I did see him at the PoK bank filling out Chapter 11 forms and some repo-man was seizing his weapons and armor. He might have not made the list if it wasn’t for the fact that he made the decision to leave us in the middle of a Redfang fight. Stay classy, pal.

    6. Dezyn
    Dezyn could have been an great member of the guild if she wasn’t always so busy flying around the world to exotic locations doing photo shoots. Because, you know, she was multi-million dollar supermodel. I think it was around her extended break in Sweden when she finally got the boot. The lying wouldn’t have been so bad is she didn’t send her picture to every single person in the guild trying to really sell the lie.

    5. Faidian
    Someone get Faidian a cab to the library right now! We need backup! Faid’s ISP went out one night, and being such a dedicated and hardcore player that he was, he went all the way to the library to make a post explaining his internet troubles to us and how he was very sorry he couldn’t raid with us that evening. Unfortunately for Faidian, Nuntius PI was on the IP and noticed that Faidian’s house and library had the same IP address. Whoops. Instead of accepting the hilarious embarrassment, Faidian dug himself into a pit of lies of which he couldn’t climb out. The motherfucker could rock the ill Dewey Decimal System though. Word up.

    4. Bruizerr
    In the 5 years we’ve been a guild, Bruizerr stands out as the worst applicant in the history of Triality. Classic Bruizerr moment: Strapping Hatchet the Torturer to his chest and carbombing not just the entire raid, but specifically the rez corner we had setup. Let’s not forget about the time Bruizerr single-handedly depopped The Performer by miskeying emotes. Denied.

    3. Cerco
    When you can’t find help for your Epic 2.0 quest at 3AM when only 10 people are online; 6 of which are AFK and 4 of which are bots, do you:
    a.) Wait until tomorrow
    b.) Flip the fuck out and deguild
    c.) Flip the fuck out and deguild, talk shit about your former guild, troll their forums talking shit, deny any of this ever happened and then months later, to this very day, spam every officer in your former guild apologizing and begging to return. C for the answer. A for persistence. F for life.

    2. Alwayys
    postapplication?ENDMAC I’m not really sure about Alwayys. I think his massive system of third-party software became self-aware like Skynet and posted the application to the guild for him. Terminated.

    1. Volt
    Volt had the benefit of being our only Enchanter for a short period of time. And within that short period, he became an ego torpedo and thought he was the cat’s meow. The self-proclaimed King of All Enchanters took his skill of being able to mez 67 mobs simultaneously elsewhere, along with the majority of our strategies. Unfortunately for Volt, our strategies only work for us and not hastily created, second-rate, Johnny-Come-Lately shitter guilds. He realized this though, and then tried to actively recruit our entire guild into his team of failure. Unlike most of the Horrors of EverQuest listed above, Volt still actively carries disdain for anything and everything Triality. And this, my friend, has you batting in the lead-off spot for this Top Ten Team of Failure.


    Now, we don’t want to seem like a hateful and bitter group of people. So now that we’ve highlighted the worst people we’ve come across in five years, I think we should throw some props out to the good shit. We’ve had a ton of members over the years who have come and gone that were/are just amazing players and megawesome people. To list them all here would be like impossible. That being said, few people retire and are missed as much as this guy and few people made us collectively laugh and question our faith in humanity as much as Fishlip. And since he was always a staple in the quote section of these updates, we’re going to take a look at the best of the worst of Fish’s whacked out brain over the years.

    http://trialityguild.com/t-img/news/q/20041014/Boyfriend.jpg

    Well that’s really it. Just a fun relaxing update for now. The new expansion, Secrets of Faydwer, drops soon so look back here for toetags and teabags on the corpses of everything it brings to our doorstep. So, to everyone in this guild past and present, I raise my 12 ounces of Pabst Blue Ribbon in the air and salute. Here’s to swimmin’ with bow-legged women.


    Originally posted by qxx • Oct 29, 2007 14:17
  • Quarken Era (2004-2013)

    Snapping Necks & Cashing Checks

    Yo everyone. I don’t even know where to start. There is so much to talk about and my fingers are already tired of typing. But I’m going to muscle up and push beyond the crippling strain on my digits. This update has love, it has hate and it probably has herpes. So keep your Valtrex© handy because I’m going to climb onto the top rope and Superfly Jimmy Snuka this update right into your solar plexus. Actually, let’s first take a time-out to talk about recruiting! That’s always fun. Right now, Triality is looking to add these classes our our clam harem:

    Enchanter: 2
    Warrior: 1
    Knights: Hit the showers, you’re finished.
    All other classes: Maybe

    If you think Triality is the warm salvation that you’ve been seeking your entire life, here’s some helpful tips to get you off the streets and into our warm, comforting arms. First, read the requirements on our forums. Then, talk to Orruar or Dalnoth in-game before you apply. Then they’ll make you twirl on the catwalk and if they find you sexy enough to put out on the corner, you get to write your application and we get to make fun of it. Just kidding, we won’t make fun of it. Just kidding, we will. Unless you’re an enchanter, in which case we’ll probably take turns tickling your yam bag.


    So, here’s the deal. On the last update we left off talking about how we rode a tide of vengeance directly into Frostcrypt‘s Adam’s apple. So, if you’ve been taking notes, you’re probably expecting an exciting update detailing our trials and tribulations through Ashengate, Reliquary of the Scale. And that’s exactly what we have for you! But, it’s like small. How small? If this update was testicles you’d think it was -20° Centigrade in this bitch. That small. So here are the CliffsNotes:

    • Ashengate East: We won.
    • Ashengate West: We won, again.

    Now you may say, “Where’s the proof” and I may reply, “I’m lazy” but that doesn’t really tell you anything. Some may say, “U GOT SPOILERZ HAhALOLz” and to that I say:

    That kite, so beautifully displayed in the signature colors of the Luclin server, is the only strategy spoiler you need to defeat this entire expansion. That’s the big secret. When in doubt, throw a rope on that bitch and kite your tight little ass off. This was literally our go-to strategy during the entire expansion. But, enough of that. What do we have for you today? How about Triality being the 1st guild, in all of EverQuest, to finish The Serpent’s Spine.


    A few nights ago we were stumbling our way through Ashengate North when we came upon Dyn’leth, Firstborn of Lethar. And we killed him. With absolute ease.

    The Dyn’leth fight is so fucking easy it’s borderline insulting. As long as you can manage to not die in real life while manipulating your EverQuest character on the internet, you’ll win. That’s sadly not surprising considering while we were pulling the pants off of Frostcrypt, every other guild was doing their best to beat Ashengate. Which means all of the Ashengate events had their difficulty balanced against guilds that are decidedly not Triality and it shows by just how easy everything is in all of Ashengate. Let me give you another example of what I mean and what happens when other guilds have to try and beat an event that is delightfully difficult.


    So last night we Crip walked our way into Ashengate North and put a hurtin’ on Lethar the Black. Difficulty aside, this fight was actually very fun and really unique. I feel like this is the first fight in EverQuest, so far, that actually puts you into a time machine and takes you back because this fight had a very NToV kind of vibe about it.

    And upon his death, after Lethar’s Final Stand, came one of our biggest accomplishments as a guild to-date: our first game-wide 1st place expansion victory after defeating all of The Serpent’s Spine before anyone else. Thanks to all the players and haters of Triality that persisted through the worst of it and the best of it. We’ll be here in our little corner of the world farming harder than a Korean LAN party until the next expansion drops. Keep an eye out over here for an Ashengate movie that is in the works to go with our Frostcrypt movie.

    Triality standing above all the rest.

    Which brings us to tonight. Tonight we officially started our farming campaign by romping around Frostcrypt #1, which we haven’t been back to for a few weeks now. We eventually came to Lorekeeper Grenwald. That fight was pretty intense the last time we killed him and we still weren’t comfortable enough to just walk up to him and eat his lunch, or so we thought. So we were prepared for what was arguably the most difficult fight in the whole expansion but when he spawned this time, all we what we got was this:

    nerfed

    This is, of course, is after all the other guilds couldn’t hang with the difficulty of the original version of the Lorekeeper Grenwald fight; the version we defeated. The version we thought was perfectly difficult. Of course, when you throw 46 limp cleric bodies at a mob and it doesn’t die you only have two options and calling up Big Zeke of the Sony Mafia to break Grenwald’s legs is the one that was chosen gg.

    My point is, naturally it isn’t a big surprise that we crushed all of Ashengate with absolute ease since every event in there was balanced against the raid-style of guilds that have more clerics than the Vatican.



    And now for something completely different:

    Look, Ma! The Babysitter Is Giving Me Head!

    by Ophidion

    Instead of going with my original idea of taking a huge shit in a box and mailing it to the designers and developers of the Frostcrypt side of The Serpent Spine, I decided to take a different approach to all of my misplaced anger.
    
    For those of you who don’t know me, I am Ophidion, scourge of the seven seas, and the only official owner of a cannon that fires AIDS. I also fancy myself to be quite the connoisseur of fine/horrible pornography. Having a sophisticated pallet for this medium, one has to sample as much as possible so they don’t get behind (pun). This is my excuse for flogging the dolphin enough to have my eyes cross and sprout full Santa beards.
    
    Generally, porn has at least decent acting in it, or in the case of amateur porn, none at all. Amateur porn is excused of acting because it’s all about fucking, not about answering the door to a delivery man with six pounds of cock sticking through a pizza (this is an actual website). Normal porn, or porn with a message/theme HAS to have good acting in it however, or it ends up being a video of a guy your father’s age giving a hot beef injection to a female who is half the age of your toe nail clippings.
    
    Today I am going to talk about a short clip I downloaded a few weeks ago, but this video has been angering me since I trudged through it. I was quite surprised (well not really, but lets say I was) that there was a FFM porn with the title “MILF Hunter – Kay Parker – Taboo – Babysitter”. There are two words in that novel of an mp3 title that peaked my interest taboo (being a great 80’s porn series that featured some of the greatest porn stars of all time (Honey Wilder being one of them) and Babysitter. Now, I don’t know about anyone else, but fucking babysitters has to be pretty awesome, therefore the movie should be awesome and convincing. The fact that there was an actress’s name in the title means it wasn’t amateur porn thus the conclusion was made that this would have some decent acting in it. OH HOW WRONG I WAS.
    
    The first aspect of the movie that pissed me off is that the wife was smoking. Smoking, albeit sexy sometimes, is generally not something I want to see some broad who is about to get stuffed like a meaty pin cushion doing right before she gets her pork pocket stuffed. Next was the apparent lack of any rehearsal for this scene. The main actress had no fucking idea what her lines were and it was painfully obvious that she was searching for something to say between random hole encounters. News flash darling, looking like a retard is only sexy if you like fucking slack jawed creatures from the abyss that have no chance of escaping your herpes encrusted baby club, and just because you are fucking your babysitter (for a kid you don’t even have in the scene) your acting isn’t excused from being somewhat believable.
    
    The only thing that saved this movie was the fact that the red-headed babysitter was ok looking and her name was dynamite. Apparently, if you have a fire bush, your crotch has the potential to remove limbs and ruin coal miner’s lives. Other than that, I give this crappy movie one Droopy Dooner for excellence in the field of wasting my hard drive space.

    Originally posted by qxx • Dec 01, 2006 01:17