• Quarken Era (2004-2013)

    None But The Brave

    Yo everyone. The natives are getting restless. I was content getting back to the slack after we defeated The Underfoot. BUT I GUESS we need at least one legit front page update outlining our epic adventures and battles in the Land Beneath the Feet, so I’m back on the clock like Marty and Doc. This update is going to be so sweet you’ll have pancreatic cancer and diabetes by the time you finish reading it. But before we get to the pleasure, let’s handle some bidness, sons. Recruitment. Booooosh.

    Recruitment Info
    Bard
    Necromancer

    Updated Aug 31, 2010

    That list is, how you say, ‘dynamic’. We’ll update it as needed. If you think you have what it takes to visit our casting couch and get a shot at the big time in the Hollywood Hills of EverQuest (that’s us), get in touch with Quarken, Gilthanos, Hylea or Sepha before you go writing The World’s Worst Application: A How-To Guide on our forums. Now that the boring paperwork is done…

    https://web.archive.org/web/20101008021421im_/http://www.trialityguild.com/t-img/news/q/20100810/letsgetcrackin.jpg

    So, what has Triality been up to? I’m sure you’ve been sleeplessly awaiting the answer to this very question for some time now. Well, I know when I have a question that demands answering, the first place I go to is Google. So, let’s take a walk down the internets and ask Mr. Google:


    Now that we’ve cleared up that catastrophe, what have we been up to? Well, we defeated the legendary Underfoot expansion. And now this is the part of the update where I recount each and every epic event we aimlessly and shamelessly threw ourselves against for weeks on end. ZZZ…ZZZ…ZZZ…SNORE-FEST. You know, after writing these updates for 6+ years, that formulaic ‘we killed this, we looted this’ shit is played out. Tonight, we’re going to mix it up a little.

    First step, let’s throw out all the shit I’m too lazy to type about. So far, this new format is a great success! Then let’s skip right to the good shit: Convorteum

    Second step, let’s adopt a rating system, similar to how one would rate a motion picture or popular music album. Only, instead of using that also-played-out ‘5 star’ system, let’s use something a little more proprietary and closer to home – something EverQuest related. Naturally, we’re going to use the greatest thing in EverQuest to rate these events: Pogonip. Pogonip is awesome. Events will be rated on a 1-5 Pogonip scale.

    Convorteum, predictably, has 7 events. Please do not confuse this 7 event end-zone with this one or this one.


    Convorteum Event #1: The Gatekeeper
    This event is great. It’s really the perfect event. There is very little/no trash to kill before the event. The Gatekeeper himself has almost no challenging abilities and your guild can kill it while you sit there AFK, pretending you’re not watching videos at BigWetAsses.com. More importantly, this event will be easily farmable for your fledgling alts once we’re all level 90 and intoxicated with untamed power. I forgot to take a screenshot of this mob (not because I was at BigWetAsses.com either. Honest.) So, I thought about putting up a predictable picture of Zuul, The Gatekeeper of Gozer. Instead, here is a picture of Don Knotts.

    Overall rating: 4.5 Pogonips

    Convorteum Event #2: The Stone Warden
    This event is OK. The storyline for this event, and correct me if I’m wrong: Three hookers are slutting themselves around Convorteum and their pimp, The Stone Warden, is keeping a watchful eye on them from the corner of the room. We take each of these whooahs into their respectable rooms and, you know…”show them what it’s all about”. Unfortunately, we have “mommy issues” and start roughing up The Stone Warden’s three money makers a little too much. Violence ensues. Just look at that pimp hand.

    Overall rating: 3 Pogonips

    Convorteum Event #3: Unstable Creation
    After what we witnessed down at Event #2, it came to no surprise that this place is infested with crabs. They are just everywhere in Event #3, giving the term ‘Deadliest Catch’ a whole new meaning. The idea of this event is to attack the named with a fine-toothed comb while hitting the crab adds with the sanitary shampoo. If you get overrun by crabs and end up scratching your balls completely raw, you lose. Now your family and friends are hopelessly ashamed and won’t let you piss indoors anymore. See the winning strategy for this event here.

    Overall rating: 2 Pogonips

    Convorteum Event #4: The Keymaster
    Once we show up to this event, for reasons nobody has quite figured out yet, Kertrasia (The Keymaster) wanders off and falls into the lava, where a greken named Borzaloth is waiting. The fat dumb slug then proceeds to eat Kertrasia and, by the transitive properties of bad lore and even worse writing, Borzaloth becomes the new Keymaster. Before we continue, I can’t help but to point out that following Ghostbusters logic, it is destiny for The Keymaster (now Borzaloth) to make-a-sexy-time with The Gatekeeper (now Don Knotts). So let’s all take a minute to imagine television’s Don Knotts being mounted and bootyhole pounded by this fat, sloppy lava lizard. Did you picture it? Are you sure? You better have. Moving right along then, this event is much like The Gatekeeper event in that it’s so easy, you’ll be farming this thing six ways to Sunday in the very near future for your alternative characters. Event #4 would be worthy of 4.5 Pogonips buuut the “achievement” for this event depends upon us keeping Borzaloth’s fat ass in the lava, which we suck at doing. Bzzzzt, -1 Pogonip penalty.

    Overall rating: 3.5 Pogonips

    Convorteum Event #5: The Hall of Records
    Jesus, I’m only on Event #5? This per-event review system seemed like such a good [i.e., easy] idea at the time which was about 4 fuckin’ hours ago at this point. I’m tired and fading out fast. This event definitely happened. Next!

    Overall rating: 1 Pogonip

    Convorteum Event #6: Magus Sisters
    This event has a team of sisters that are determined to make your life miserable. Please don’t confuse this event with this one or this one. The development team is doing its part to save Norrath from global warming by still recycling the events of yesteryear; very thoughtful. Truthfully, this event is really fun but it definitely has a vibe. Like, the achievements are so fucking creepy that you have to wonder if Franky the Greasy Intern got a ‘talking to’ after he implemented them. I mean, read this shit: Make Them Watch, Half Sisters and…Slumber Party. Creeeeeeeepyyyyyyy. I imagine at some point, there had to be a meeting with the “creative” team and the rest of the developers regarding the names of achievements in Underfoot. I also imagine that meeting went something like this:

    Overall rating: 4 Pogonipples

    Convorteum Event #7: The First Creation
    Finally! Event #7. I always wondered why it took so long to get Brell Serilis into EverQuest. It seemed like almost every other major deity had been given some time in the spotlight, so why not Brell? I’ll tell you why right now:

    Brell is a retard.

    Literally. While other gods like Fennin Ro and Rallos Zek were sitting around being fuckin’ awesome, Brell was in his basement playing with dolls and painting Warhammer miniatures. Apparently, he was shitty at even that. Look at his First Creation; it’s like Rocky Dennis was forcibly inserted into Andre the Giant’s gaping asshole. What a total loser.

    Anyway, Event #7 is cool. It’s what an expansion’s final event should be. After Lord Brekt, this is quite a refreshing end to a really good raid expansion. Sure, people will bitch and complain about this-and-that being fucked up and not tuned, etc…but the fact of the matter is: Underfoot lasted a long time and proved to be fun and challenging as fuck. Good times.

    Overall rating: 5 Pogonips

    I want to congratulate everyone in Triality for really stepping it up this year and putting an end to Underfoot. We had some unique challenges and those of you that stuck it out: cheers to you all. I’m never surprised but always amazed. You guys kick fuckin’ ass.


    So that’s that. Be sure to check back soon(ish). We’re putting together an Underfoot video. Hopefully, it will be out before House of Thule is. You’ll find it here when it’s done. Ka-kow.


    …and finally…


    Can’t you feel my hate?
    Watch my brothers rape and kill the cripples I create.
    Originally posted by qxx • Aug 14, 2010 02:23
  • Quarken Era (2004-2013)

    Release the Flies

    Yo everyone. We haven’t had a true update in like 10 months or something, since those boner-destroying Living Legacy events. A lot has changed since then. After farming Seeds of Destruction for an entire year, our roster was about as stable as a high-rise in Haiti. So, we’ve been on a recruiting frenzy and found a handful of folks that were putting the can’t in applicant. We’re still going strong but obviously still recruiting. Let’s talk about that real quick:

    Bard: 1
    Berserker: 2
    Cleric: 2
    Enchanter: 1
    Rogue: 2
    Shaman: 1

    Updated Apr 06, 2010

    If you’re one of those classes listed above and you feel like you’re ready to strap on the happy helmet and raid Triality style, contact Mendix, Somta, Sepha or myself (Quarken but preferably one of the other 3 officers) in-game. We’ll have you raiding at a third-grade level in no time. On a serious note, don’t bother applying if you’re the type of person that doesn’t know how to spell words, type words quickly or understand words typed at you. Communication is key. We can help you get gear and AA’s but dumb is forever. Forever. Speaking of dumb, let’s talk about Underfoot.

    Just kidding. So far, Underfoot awesome. The events are harder than a teen at a titty bar while having the learning curve of a sonderkommando new-hire orientation. The challenge is refreshing after that last limp noodle we had to raid for a year.


    First, The Wrath of Brath. An irritable golem with a penchant for ass beating. Ok, confession time. There’s been a lot of accusations coming out of the raiding community regarding the methods we employed to beat these new events. I like competition. So, it would be unfair if we were using top secret tactics to our advantage and not allowing our competing guilds the same privilege. With that in mind, I reluctantly present our Brath strat, full disclosure.

    Anyone that’s been to the Brath event knows you have 1 big named and a shitload of adds. The first thing we do when seeing a new event is apply EQ judo; take our opponents strength and attacks and use them to our advantage. Any gamer worth his salt knows in Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 you can get a Tactical Nuke by killing 25 consecutive enemies without dying. The Tactical Nuke gives you an instant victory, regardless of the odds stacked against you. So, with all the adds during the Brath event, the path to victory seemed pretty obvious. The tricky part was figuring out how to get that tactical nuking capability into EverQuest. There just had to be a way. We put our top Triality Black Ops engineers and scientists on the case. One set of jumper cables, a box of Twinkies and 2 hours later, we were tactically nuking our way into EverQuest history, bringing home the serverwide-first victory over Brath. So there it is, our 100% true, no-holds-barred strategy for Brath and many, many future conquests in the Underfootage.

    Prior to Brath, we had the unique pleasure of visiting an event so unfun that the very thought of it has been known to inflict erectile dysfunction into even the most virile of men. I’m of course referring to Grunkuck the Beast. The blood-thirstiest, shoot ’em firstiest, doggone worstiest mob that ever sailed the Spanish main. And, oh. my. god. would you believe some people accused lil’ old us of using questionable tactics on this event too? Yessiree. Well, that cannot be denied. I think by now the very obvious and much talked about Rock of Destiny came into play during our early victories over this drrrrrreadful event. In case you aren’t privy to what I’m referring to, please, enjoy our helpful tutorial. If a picture is worth a thousand words, than a 15 frame animated .gif must be worth, like, a million!

    The good news is we’ve since single tanked the beast, quickly affirming that yes, our dicks are still huge even when they take our rocks away.

    With strategy brainstorming sessions like this, how can’t we win?!

    What else, what else have we been up to. Oh, The Unburrowing. This event is great. What’s better, nobody accused us of cheating. I know, it’s almost unberievable. After being awesome for long, we’re used to people accusing us of cheating, or hacking, or MacroQuesting or having a Bat Phone to the developers that’ll get events killed for us or…, you get the point. You can actually go back to the past handful of expansions and read updates on this very website shooting down these [mostly] baseless accusations.

    At this point, we don’t care. Your nerd-raging, EQLive posting nonsense is met with only apathy and sarcasm. You can keep calling us out all you like. It still doesn’t stop your members from applying to us because they’d rather get shit done than listen to you cry and whine and shout about us all night every time your raid gets wrecked on events we shit all over. Maybe if people like Ronak just shut the fuck up, they’d make a worthwhile contender somewhere down the line. I don’t know much (really, I don’t) but if I saw Mendix spamming EQLive, smashing other guilds all day, I’d start to wonder where his priorities sat. Meaning, I’d wonder if he was more concerned with making us succeed or more concerned with making others fail. If it was the latter, I’d be jumping ship like a peasant on the Titanic.

    Now, you’re saying, “What the fuck dude, you just told me you guys used rocks and nukes and shit to beat those other events”. So what? fuck off. And also, you’re retarded. It doesn’t take a criminal mastermind to notice AE’s for Brath are flagged beneficial on Lucy. The same as it isn’t rocket science that zone geometry has been used since, literally, the first raid mobs EVER to dodge detrimental AE’s and abilities. You’re going to tell me in Temple of Veeshan, your guild never hid from an AE? Or you never used Journeyman’s Boots to unfuck the mana drain from Aaryonar? There wasn’t any other way people did those fights. This is fucking elementary EverQuest.

    We all know we’re beta testing new expansions on live servers, at this point. The beta server exists to make sure the car runs. But it’s up to us, after release, to make sure it drives straight and the windshield wipers work and all that shit. So, of course we find oversights, loopholes and broken shit that works to our advantage. Nobody will question that we immediately fire this information off to the powers that be and scream to have it fixed ASAP.

    Though, usually, we’re by ourselves doing this shit. We’re usually seeing and killing encounters before you guys get to them. So you never really have to experience this type of shit (i.e., Frostcrypt and Solteris). But last time around, Seeds of Destruction was like an equal opportunity expansion that lasted wayyyyy too long. SoD allowed everyone, even the mom & pop guilds full of filthy casuals, to be crashing into Underfoot raids on day 1 and it shows.

    In short, know your role, fall into line and start acting like you’re supposed to be here if you want to stay. This shit has been going on longer than you realize and you’re showing how green you are by complaining to any ear, or forum, that will listen.

    Anyway, The Unburrowing. It’s awesome, we beat it and I’m entirely too sober on a Saturday night to say anything else. Grap summed it up quite nicely:

    And firstly but not leastly, Fappy Dickpaw. This fight is also awesome. A little humor, a little asskicking. I guess Fippy is a bit of old news by this point and, again, I’m too sober to type anything beyond that.

    Alright, so I think I’ve made enough dick references to awaken the zombie of Freud. We’ll be back with more updates as we smash and grab everything Underfoot has to offer. Until then, I’m going to eat some Dilaudid like they’re breath mints, for my back pain of course, and wash it down with a Jack & Coke (minus the Coke) for my brain pain. XOXOXO


    Spackled and battered and
    smothered and covered and
    cleaving and cloven and
    bitter and blued.
    Originally posted by qxx • Feb 07, 2010 03:02   
  • Quarken Era (2004-2013)

    21st Century Catastrophe

    Recruitment Info
    Bard: 1
    Berserker: 1
    Druid: 1
    Rogue: 1
    Shadowknight: 1
    Shaman: 2

    Yo everyone. So this update is a little delayed. Truth be told, as soon as we defeated Lord Brekt, Rider of Discord, I logged off and immediately started writing the update in a punctual fashion, as I typically do. But, I couldn’t stop giving the finger to the screenshot of Overlord Muram long enough to type more than a few words. I think you’ll understand.

    So tonight, we’re going to talk about that shit sandwich we’ve all been forced to eat: Seeds of Destruction. Truth be told, the expansion itself wasn’t all that awful. There was a nice variety of zones, a lush, vibrant storyline to follow and more quests than you could shake a dick at.

    Unfortunately, the raid content was so easy even a caveman could do it and by do it I mean design it and by design it I mean design it better than the current designers and by design it better than the current designers I mean if someone threw a fistful of shit on top of a pile of shit which was currently located on Shit Mountain of Shitsville, Poopsylvania then it would be better than the shit we’ve had to endure. I could, and definitely would, keep going but I think you get the point. I guess I shouldn’t get too upset. This isn’t the first time I’ve paid $40 to get fucked by something sad and broken. At least the expansion didn’t cower in the corner and try to call the cops while we were beating it.


    So here’s the big moneyshot. Lord Brekt: a mediocre boss for a mediocre expansion. Now enjoy the mediocre write-up of this event. I’m just trying to keep it real, fam. Anyway, we felled this great beast on 12/23/08. Congratulations to <Crimson Tempest> for defeating him the same day. I know that’s the part you’ve just been just dying to read but I’m not ashamed to mention it here. As I see it, both guilds were being fucked in the ass by this expansion at the same time and Crimson Tempest just enjoyed it enough to blow their load finish a few minutes first. Boosh.


    Now, Event 6: Overlord Muram; fuck. this. event. What the fuck is it with Event 6s in this game? They never fucking work out of the box. They’re always bugged. Now, if I had a mind for conspiracies, it’s almost as if Event 6s are intentionally left broken and unbeatable to slow down big sexy guilds like Triality from beating these expansions “too quickly”. Just kidding. There isn’t a quiet conspiracy happening here; it’s an intentional reality. At least mix it up and “unintentionally” break an Event 5 or something to cockblock us from making short work of your hard work. Or maaaybe you guys are just incapable of making 7-event end-zones because you motherfuckers just cannot. get. an. event. six. right. Jesus Christ already.


    For real though, all jokes and complaints aside – congrats to my fellow guildmates here in Triality for making it happen once again. The dedication and determination within this guild never ceases to amaze. Well done, once again.


    So that’s it for now. We’ll be farming our asses off for the next eight months. Still, be sure to check back before then because I know we’ll be having a collection of Seeds of Destruction videos popping up here between now and then. A few people here are putting some together. So come back and enjoy those.


    Before we close it out here, I wanted to hit on a personal milestone. This will be my 50th front page update on the site here. I want to thank everyone in Triality for letting me represent them here, for better or worse. Since most of the titles of these updates come directly from song names or song lyrics I am usually listening to while writing, I thought it might be fun to put together a little mixed montage of the update titles into an .mp3 It’s 45+ songs cut up into about 6 and a half minutes of pure adrenaline. Chronologically arranged and delightfully deranged, you’ll have no dry pants left in your house after you listen to it.

    Triality Update Titles Mix
    Various Artists
    (Length 6:31)

    Hasta la pasta.



    Originally posted by qxx • Feb 25, 2009 21:43
  • Quarken Era (2004-2013)

    Hail The Crimson Blur

    Yo everyone. It’s a Christmas miracle! I’m finally going to post a front page update. Under normal circumstances, I would have grinched this off as long as possible but the Ghost of Christmas Future has its cold, evil hands around my sugar plums. So, go sit under your digital chimneys and prepare for the biggest Christmas gift of them all – Seeds of Destruction. For the occasion, I thought a time honored Christmas poem would help put us in the spirit of the season.

    ‘Twas the night before Korafax and all through the zone
    Not a creature was there that we couldn’t own
    These events were all tested on beta with care
    In hopes this expansion would last a full year

    We were surprised Korafax fell with such ease!
    Only to find out we’re cockblocked by keys
    🙁

    So we zoned into Tower ready to raid
    Wondering how the devs still get paid

    But what we had found as soon as we started
    All these events are fucking retarded
    The raids were so awful or dare I say worse
    Than the bittersweet feeling of these serverwide firsts

    And while we are clearly ahead of the pack
    There’s always some bug that’s holding us back
    So now we await an unlikely fix
    That will let us be first to beat event six


    Ahh, that one brings back warm memories, doesn’t it?

    You know, we could, should and typically would come here to brag. You know how we do. If cockwaving was an Olympic event, we’d be the Michael Phelps of that shit. But not this time. Not for this expansion. So far, it’s a lot like robbing someone that’s retarded: they went down easy, you got your loot but, god damn, don’t brag about it. Just do it and move on, ya? I mean, what kind of absolute losers would brag about beating this content anyway? Hah, I can only imagine. They’d probably say something like, “[nothing] has even remotely come close to slowing us down.” Or something cheesy and predictable like, “So far we have completely dominated this expansion”. I mean, can you imagine that there are people out there like that? I know, it’s crazy.

    Anyway, we have completely dominated this expansion so far. And there is nothing that has come even remotely close to slowing us down. Not because we’re awesome, but because this shit is tuned for an assisted living facility to beat – not a raid full of healthy young bucks. And since we’re still eating solid foods and not shitting our pants in our sleep, we have to ask: Could we get this shit adjusted maybe? Dial it up a bit. It’s been nothing but one night stands in Seeds of Destruction and we’re looking to settle down with something a little more long-term at this point. Less words, more pictures now!


    The first stop on our campaign of pain was Korafax, Home of the Riders. We stomped some XXL mudholes into the three events there: Mindshear Avatar, Venom Lord Ksathrax & Pallorax the Soul Slayer. There’s not much to be said about the events themselves; challenge low, lots of trash but I will say this – that balrog looking model they use for Pallorax looks fucking toight. That might be the coolest looking shit in all of EverQuest. And don’t be fooled by the weird text, that is really Venom Lord Kthxla~ or whatever. True story.

    And then…

    …the five easiest events we’ve ever seen. I’m not bullshitting you. As far as raiding end-zones go, this shit is made in New York City. So, in chronological order, here are the events and some pictures of them. There’s not much to talk about since we just ran through them like shit through a very incontinent end-game goose.


    Event 1, Mindblight


    Event 2, Trophy Room


    Event 3, Stasis


    Event 4, Scrying


    Event 5, Sacrifice


    Only one more event stands in between us and the Don Dada of Discord Lord Brekt, Rider of Discord himself. We promise a timely front page update after we smash Event(s) 6 & 7 to bring home the biiiig dubya. Super promise!

    Us too, buddy…us too.

    On behalf of everyone here at Triality, Dazinth would like to wish everyone a Happy Kwanzaa. In the spirit of his people’s blessed holiday, he will be wearing the customary Kwanzaa colors until the new year.


    Originally posted by qxx • Dec 11, 2008 01:54   
  • Quarken Era (2004-2013)

    Crack In The Egg

    Yo everyone. Not much of a front page update here, we just want to get it on record: Kerafyrm the Awakened is dead…again. I guess that makes Triality the #1 and #2 guild in all of EverQuest? Sounds good to me. We anxiously await Kerafyrm the Awakened Special THX Widescreen Re-Release Edition, so we can dump all over that too.

    Somewhere in that opacity disaster lies a dead dragon.

    Originally posted by qxx • Apr 16, 2008 00:09   
  • Quarken Era (2004-2013)

    Burial For The Living

    Yo everyone. The long overdue update of our smashing and grabbing in Crystallos, Lair of the Awakened has finally arrived. Kind of. I’m not going to recap every little encounter in this place. Actually, I’m not going to recap any encounters! Most of it is old news by now and if I did that, one of us is going to be bored to death by the end. And as much as you’d want it to be me, it’d probably be you. So, I take mercy upon thee. Why don’t we kick this bitch off the hinges with some recruitment information.

    None.


    Moving right along, I have to say this update is a bit lack luster for me to be doing. Truth be told, I logged on 5 or 35 minutes late for raids on the night we killed Kerafyrm the Awakened. I took the tardiness to bake up a couple of DiGiorno’s and ate the hell out of them. Shortly thereafter I got hit with the -itis and slept through the entire historical victory.

    So, I don’t want to speculate on how the victory went down, you know? I don’t want to take the time to write a lot of nonsense about something I haven’t seen yet, right? It would be retarded to come here and act like I’m informed on the ins-and-outs of the event when I hadn’t personally witnessed it. I couldn’t accurately or intelligently speak about the encounter’s details or difficulty. Am I rite?? M I RITE??

    I mean, I could do all those things I listed up there. Maybe it would be some sort of therapeutic exercise to speak with unfiltered ignorance. Maybe that would get me more in-sync with the people littering the EQLive forums doing exactly that.

    Or maybe, we can do something fun for everyone. This presents a unique opportunity for us. I was thinking an interactive update would be lovely since I’m lazy and you’re bored. So, let’s do this thing together. Below, you can write the rest of the update in your own special way! My 6th grade grammar skills were really put to the test here. I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t Google the shit out of parts of speech. Grammar Nazis: raise your red pens, it’s time to Mad Libs.


    That was so fulfilling. We should do the rest of the updates like this. I’m sure you’ll agree!

    Ok, Serious Man™ time now. I want to congratulate all my brothers and sisters of Triality for getting this shit done proper and grabbing another game-wide 1st place expansion win. In addition to that, we’re putting together a Crystallos raid movie. I’d guess that should be completed and posted here a month or so down the road. We’ll be here farming our asses off until the World Series, at least.

    Here’s to swimmin’ with bow legged women. Cheers. I’m going to go get drunk.



    Originally posted by qxx • Apr 06, 2008 18:28   
  • Quarken Era (2004-2013)

    Two Great Hates Can Hate Great Together

    Yo everyone. You’re probably tuning in to read about our absolute crushery we’re putting on Crystallos, Lair of the Awakened‘s inhabitants but we’re saving that for one gigantic update in the very near future. Tonight, we have other business at hand.


    Make no mistake, our updates usually contain a certain amount of smug elitism. But it’s all in good fun. For every one statement I make about us being unfathomably awesome, I counter it with some collective self-deprecation because it really is just for fun; we’re really not that smug or elitist. But be warned: this front page update is pulling no punches. We’re taking everything we’re entitled to brag about and we’re going to rub your stupid faces in it until you look like that one Nazi at the end of Raider’s of the Lost Ark. Who’s stupid faces are we talking about? All the ignorant drama llamas posting on various message boards across the galaxy claiming Triality are cheaters. If you’re not one of them then just relax yourself and dig in for a good old fashioned EverQuest rant & flame.


    This may come as a shocker, but there was a bug in Meldrath’s Majestic Mansion. Well, there were plenty of bugs but we’re used to that. That said, this one specific bug was allowing Meldrath The Malignant to spawn, regardless of your current lockout, once the zone was cleared of the other events. So, if someone was to kill Meldrath and the very next day have an event(s) ‘respawn’, when that event(s) was killed/defeated Meldrath would spawn again even though you just killed him the previous night, in this example. We knew this bug existed, since we’re the first guild to kill him.

    That was your history lesson. Here comes your math lesson.

    There are 2 fact(or)s you need to know before we go any further:

    1. Meldrath grants 6 flags per kill.
    2. We first entered Crystallos with 42 flagged members.

    So here’s our timeline, which you can cross reference at any leaderboard: On 1/17/08 Meldrath died for the first time. We gained 6 flags, as noted. Meldrath has a 5 day lockout. We entered Crystallos on 2/18/08. And what do you know – that works out to exactly 42 flagged members if Meldrath was killed every 5 days since our first kill on 1/17. Imagine. That. As you can clearly see, that bug gained us no ground or advantage in flagging our members. It provided no upper hand in progressing through this expansion at a faster rate than intended by the event(s) lockouts. Here’s a specific breakdown for the arithmetically impaired.

    • 1/17 Flags
    • 1/22 Flags
    • 1/27 Flags
    • 2/01 Flags
    • 2/06 Flags
    • 2/11 Flags
    • 2/16 Flags
    • 2/18 Enter Crystallos

    Now, all of this slandering and shit talking really makes us sad. It made us sad, fellas. Because for years now, we’ve been beating everything for you other guilds. And the only time you come out to mention our name is to try to shit on us.

    We’ve been the premiere raiding guild in EverQuest for a while now. Our real first breach to the undisputed rank of #1 came in The Serpent’s Spine when we demolished both Frostcrypt and Ashengate before anyone else. The douchebags over at Township Rebellion couldn’t handle that we just served their asses to them and went on their “BEST OVERALL” bullshit, trying to discredit our accomplishment. Instead, they should have been sending our entire roster Thank You cards for making Frostcrypt beatable for them before they got there. Which guild was it that killed Harfange the Black with 50 unpreventable god damn adds? That was Triality. What did TR do? They got to Grenwald, found out he was a monster badass and got on the Bat Phone to get his legs broken and stuffed in a wheelchair…after we had been beating him regularly while he was on the juice (three times). Pansies.

    So now it’s Solteris time. We have to man up to show that taking the gold home in The Serpent’s Spine wasn’t a fluke. So we did. But on the way there, we were the ones making adjustments to deal with the surprising difficulty of the events or random bugs sinking days, sometimes weeks, off our progression rate. We were killing the original Aprosis. Without gimping it by despawning the adds and kiting him around until the raid was ready like some people did…..When we beat Event 3 the first time, we got spammed with an erroneous emote and we didn’t get a lockout. Or the second time we beat Event 3 and we got raped by an army of golems upon completing the event and a chest didn’t spawn. Who cleaned up that mess for you ungrateful dickheads? Triality did. How about at event 5 when we beat the script and it respawned as if nothing happened and we got no chest. Who mopped up that shitstain before you second rate shitbags rolled up in there? Triality did. Then we beat our heads against Event 6 a total of 54 times. Which always seemed pretty ridiculous. But we did that when there was no limit on how many goos could spawn (3 every 30 sec). So by the end of the fight, we had more goo on the floor than a massage parlor in Chinatown. When you other whining retards got to that event, the goos got a cap on how many can spawn. Not to mention, although I’m about to, remember when Solteris was crashing like a DC-10? Well, during Secrets of Faydwer beta, we spent an entire night clearing all of Solteris (on the beta server) to assist in debugging the crashing issues. Keep in mind, we were donating our time to help fix a zone we would never step foot in again, just for you ingrates. And after doing all that we did for you other guilds, still no Thank You card. No fruit basket. Not even a box of chocolates. Shame on you.

    Now most recently was the Mansion. For example, Tinkerson and his bug for spawning. Instead of whining about it endlessly on the EQLive forums, we figured out what was causing it and worked around it. Therefore, we progress faster than you. When the ONE time problems with the elevator fucked us, we figured out how to avoid that and progressed. You did not. You bitched, and whined and cried and after all that: elevator music. How about when Prototype got changed and all you drippy vaginas were making threads for the eyes of anyone that would listen? Ya, we were beating that too…progressing. See the trend here? Now that you’ve gotten in there and sampled the fruits of our labors, you’re getting all sorts of events changed and manipulated to fit your family guild style of raiding. It took us 17 days to clear all of the Mansion and get our first flags. How long did it take you? That question is actually invalid. See, Meldrath also had another bug. The one where you’d wipe to him and he’d regenerate slower than shit. And I know, for an absolute fact, some of you guilds cherry picked him like that to get your flags…

    See, what I’m getting at is this: You apparently can’t comprehend how we’re progressing through this expansion at breakneck speeds. You thought you found it with these bullshit accusations. You can’t comprehend the reality because you don’t have the same talent and mindset we do. We raid more than a pathetic four days a week (Dark Horizon). We make adjustments before we wipe 100 times to a fucking event (Raging Fury). We arrange ourselves and prepare ourselves for optimal raiding. We don’t just throw together some makeshift groups and launch ourselves at a fight (also, Raging Fury). I think our track record clearly indicates we require no exploits or cheats to stay ahead of the game and fell any foe that stands in our way to victory. We adapt. We don’t wipe to events 100 times. Shit, I haven’t done anything 100 times in my life except maybe masturbate. I mean, beating our heads against an event can happen to anyone but at like attempt #30, mayyyybe you want to switch some things up. That’s some priceless Triality spoilers right there. Use with discretion.

    I heard some of you sluts calling for rollbacks on us for this alleged cheating we’ve done. That unnecessary suggestion makes me laugh. Not because of how ridiculous it was, but I can guarantee you, with absolute confidence we’d still beat you to the end of this expansion. Even if we had to reflag all over again. Still, we’d crush you. 4 groups of our players would out heal, out tank, out dps and out raid your entire trashbag guild anytime.

    So when you’re looking for answers on how we can be doing so well; look to yourselves. It’s all relative. We’re only as good as what we can grade ourselves against. As far as I’m concerned Triality is #1 and the rest of you assholes are all tied for last.


    Originally posted by qxx • Mar 09, 2008 23:02