21st Century Catastrophe
Yo everyone. So this update is a little delayed. Truth be told, as soon as we defeated Lord Brekt, Rider of Discord, I logged off and immediately started writing the update in a punctual fashion, as I typically do. But, I couldn’t stop giving the finger to the screenshot of Overlord Muram long enough to type more than a few words. I think you’ll understand.
So tonight, we’re going to talk about that shit sandwich we’ve all been forced to eat: Seeds of Destruction. Truth be told, the expansion itself wasn’t all that awful. There was a nice variety of zones, a lush, vibrant storyline to follow and more quests than you could shake a dick at.
Unfortunately, the raid content was so easy even a caveman could do it and by do it I mean design it and by design it I mean design it better than the current designers and by design it better than the current designers I mean if someone threw a fistful of shit on top of a pile of shit which was currently located on Shit Mountain of Shitsville, Poopsylvania then it would be better than the shit we’ve had to endure. I could, and definitely would, keep going but I think you get the point. I guess I shouldn’t get too upset. This isn’t the first time I’ve paid $40 to get fucked by something sad and broken. At least the expansion didn’t cower in the corner and try to call the cops while we were beating it.
So here’s the big moneyshot. Lord Brekt: a mediocre boss for a mediocre expansion. Now enjoy the mediocre write-up of this event. I’m just trying to keep it real, fam. Anyway, we felled this great beast on 12/23/08. Congratulations to <Crimson Tempest> for defeating him the same day. I know that’s the part you’ve just been just dying to read but I’m not ashamed to mention it here. As I see it, both guilds were being fucked in the ass by this expansion at the same time and Crimson Tempest just enjoyed it enough to
blow their load finish a few minutes first. Boosh.
Now, Event 6: Overlord Muram; fuck. this. event. What the fuck is it with Event 6s in this game? They never fucking work out of the box. They’re always bugged. Now, if I had a mind for conspiracies, it’s almost as if Event 6s are intentionally left broken and unbeatable to slow down big sexy guilds like Triality from beating these expansions “too quickly”. Just kidding. There isn’t a quiet conspiracy happening here; it’s an intentional reality. At least mix it up and “unintentionally” break an Event 5 or something to cockblock us from making short work of your hard work. Or maaaybe you guys are just incapable of making 7-event end-zones because you motherfuckers just cannot. get. an. event. six. right. Jesus Christ already.
For real though, all jokes and complaints aside – congrats to my fellow guildmates here in Triality for making it happen once again. The dedication and determination within this guild never ceases to amaze. Well done, once again.
So that’s it for now. We’ll be farming our asses off for the next eight months. Still, be sure to check back before then because I know we’ll be having a collection of Seeds of Destruction videos popping up here between now and then. A few people here are putting some together. So come back and enjoy those.
Before we close it out here, I wanted to hit on a personal milestone. This will be my 50th front page update on the site here. I want to thank everyone in Triality for letting me represent them here, for better or worse. Since most of the titles of these updates come directly from song names or song lyrics I am usually listening to while writing, I thought it might be fun to put together a little mixed montage of the update titles into an .mp3 It’s 45+ songs cut up into about 6 and a half minutes of pure adrenaline. Chronologically arranged and delightfully deranged, you’ll have no dry pants left in your house after you listen to it.
Hasta la pasta.