Legacy Updates

quarken.xired-Mutilate The Worms-

Originally posted by Quarken Jan 02, 2008 18:24   

Yo everyone. The first update of a new year! And, really, the first content related update since June of 2007. So what have we been doing for the past half a year? We’ve been beefing up on prayers and vitamins for the new expansion. And it hath arrived. For we have finally tasted the fruits of Secrets of Faydwer and they taste like sour apples. Also, poop. Why oh why? Well, half the content was broken or malfunctioning when we first went at it. I’ll pause while you slam the Life Alert draped around your neck from that heart attack you just had. Ok, good? So, we slopped our way through that shit pile and now we’ve gotten into Meldrath’s Majestic Mansion. Which, sadly everything seems to be working as intended. Why sadly? Because it’s trashola so far! In all fairness, we’ve only fully dissected one event. So the rest of the events may very well be all unicorns and candy. Until then though…

Breakneck, Master at Arms. He’s the guy we killed. There are a few ways I can describe the event to you. I could just link you back to some Demi-Plane updates, and you could apply that reading material to this event verbatim. I could take a poop on a pile of poop in a poop factory as some sort of analogous visual aide. Or, I could just expose the very process that the dev(s) used to create this event.

Combine the following:
Hatchet the Torturer
Zi-Thuuli the Granite Claw
Richard Simmons
Down’s Syndrome

Viola! Instant content. Al Gore would be so excited at the progress the green movement is making in MMOs with this kind of recycling. Steamsuits will be running on 100% vegetable oil by spring time! It’s really that bad. This is no exaggeration. This event is so gay, they actually made a movie about it. It’s this summer’s feel-good-family blockbuster smash hit.

And then to add insult to inj; 1 loot. Yippie skippy. I know this expansion is supposed to last a year, but honestly, 1 loot? That’s trash. Trashola. Trasholio. I’d rather sit on my ass rocking vigorously like Rainman for 3 months in the Guild Lobby with all the loot I can carry in my arms out of these zones than spend an entire year farming them. Oh, the loot:


So, 1 event in the books. More to come soon, most likely. Since, unlike other guilds we don’t get holidays off. So while they’re off lighting their menorahs and stealing some Kwanzaa cakes, we’ll be stuffing some stockings in the Mansion.

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