Ham On The Bone
Yo everyone. We’re going to be getting right into the hot sauce today because this front page update is huge. It’s like 50 pounds of awesome shit crammed into an even more awesome 10 pound bag; just over-stuffed with awesome shit. But! Before we get rolling here, lets talk about recruitment.
At this time we are looking for the following plebeians to wash our feet and feed us grapes:
Enchanter: 1Updated Nov 8, 2006
Now, if you feel like you want to apply and come personally drop grapes (peeled and seeded) into the mouths of your new overlords, you should pop onto our forums and read our application requirements. Still feeling up for a life of selfless servitude? Fantastic! Now send Orruar or Dalnoth a tell in game. When they give you the green light, go ahead and post an application. Bring plenty of fresh palms to fan your new masters because it gets plenty hot and steamy around here.
I don’t usually do this, and by ‘this’ I mean, show mercy upon a serf such as yourself, but! If you’re going to be an applicant and you also enjoy smoking copious amounts of ganja, like to the point where your heart beat literally slows down, you may want to tone it down, Loc. It’s not like we are a guild full of prudes or anything; half our shaman crew would snort thumbtacks if you asked them to. Just lately it seems that our applicant pool is smoking more than a duplex in southern California during the dry season and that doesn’t play out well in the hardcore EverQuest raid scene. Being able to pay attention is like the alpha omega of this shit. So all I’m saying is, if you smoke more than the stage at a Great White concert, you might want to at least not suck entirely while doing it.
Last time we spoke, I told you we were the 1st guild game-wide (lol, cockwaving) to break into Frostcrypt, Thone of the Shade King. And now, I’m going to tell you we are the first guild game-wide (lol, cockwaving) to rampage and wreck Frostcrypt, Throne of the Shade King. I mean, we stuck our boots into it’s cavernous mudhole and stomped our feet like a toddler that dropped his ice cream. We absolutely defiled this place.
But you don’t have to read about it, you don’t even have to try to imagine it. For the first time ever, Triality has a movie. You can relive these glorious moments, by our side, as we do drive-bys on Frostcrypt mobs from our steam-powered pogo sticks. The movie is 2 minutes and 10 seconds of pure EverQuest adrenaline. Set to the tune of Victory Strikes Again by the ever-enthusiastic Andrew WK. So wait no longer, click the picture below and live vicariously through the eye’s of your digital rulers.
So as I was saying, we ran through the first of many installments of Frostcrypt, Throne of the Shade King. But don’t take my word for it, it’s much easier for both of us if you just enjoy the pretty pictures.
First up, first down: Three Brothers event with Hufdan.
I won’t complain about the shitty 130/130 augment with asstastic mods, though. I’ll let the images linked above kill any erection you may be sporting.
Next in line was the fine swine Gravelord Cotas in the Overwhelming Numbers event.
Expect to see that last augment in the sequel; Frostcrypt: We don’t just copy and paste the actual zone anymore, we do the loot tables too. Coming soon to an end-game near you!
I’m not even going to introduce Lorekeeper Bentolf from the Shades of Calm event to you. I’ll let his loot table and our raid chat do the talking.
We’re almost to the end here! The two Don Megas of Frostcrypt are within sight. First one we dropped knuckle hammers on was Hearol the Tactician – a fun event too by the way, forealz.
And finally, the last of the Mohicans: Lorekeeper Grenwald. This is truly an epic fight, worthy of praise and more gratitude than I certainly can conjure up for our friends at Echo Base.
But the greatest reward of them all came when we saw this:
And with that Frostcrypt, Throne of the Shade King #1 is dead and buried. What new and exciting lands of opportunity await our arrival?! Let me give you a hint.
So ya, we’ve gotten into Frostcrypt, Throne of the Shade King #2! or is it #3, technically? Who knows! All I know is we’ve already put a huge dent into the new one and you should expect another update in the very near future.
Peace in your crease with a fistful of chicken grease.