Legacy Updates

quarken.xired-Hail The Crimson Blur

Originally posted by Quarken Dec 11, 2008 01:54   

Yo everyone. It’s a Christmas miracle, we’re finally going to post an update. Under normal circumstances, I would have grinched this off as long as possible. But the spirit of Christmas has it’s cold, evil hands around my sugar plums. So go sit under your digital chimneys and prepare for the biggest Christmas gift of them all, Seeds of Destruction. For the occasion, I thought a time honored Christmas poem would help put us in the spirit of the season.

Twas the night before Korafax and all through the zone
Not a creature was there that we couldn’t own
These events were all tested on beta with care
In hopes this expansion would last a full year

We were surprised Korafax fell with such ease!
Only to find out we’re cockblocked by keys

So we zoned into Tower ready to raid
Wondering how the devs still get paid

But what we had found as soon as we started
All these events are fucking retarded
The raids were so awful or dare I say worse
Than the bittersweet feeling of these serverwide firsts

And while we are clearly ahead of the pack
There’s always some bug that’s holding us back
So now we await an unlikely fix
That will let us be first to beat event six

Ahh, that one brings back memories…doesn’t it?

You know, we could, should and typically would come here to brag. You know how we do. If cockwaving was an Olympic event, we’d be the Michael Phelps of that shit. But not this time. Not for this expansion so far. It’s a lot like robbing someone that’s retarded. They’re went down easy, you got your loot but, god damn, don’t brag about it. Just do it and move on, ya? I mean, what kind of absolute losers would brag about beating this content anyway? Hah, I can only imagine. They’d probably say something like, “[nothing] has even remotely come close to slowing us down.” Or something cheesy and predictable like, “So far we have completely dominated this expansion”. I mean, can you imagine there are people out there like that? I know, it’s crazy.

Anyway, we have completely dominated this expansion so far. And there is nothing that has come even remotely close to slowing us down. Not because we’re awesome, but because this shit is tuned for an assisted living facility to beat, not a raid of healthy young studs. Annnd we’re still eating solid foods and not shitting our pants in our sleep. So could we get this shit adjusted maybe? It’s been nothing but one night stands in SoD and we’re looking to settle down for something a little more long term at this point. Less words, more pictures now!

We beat up these 3 guys in Korafax. Don’t be fooled by the Tacvi background, that is really Venom Lord.
True story.

x3

And then…

…the five easiest events we’ve ever seen. I’m not bullshitting you. As far as end-raid zones go, this shit is made in New York City. So, in chronological order, here are the events.

x2

Tongue of Insanity
Bone Crusher

Runed Metal Belt
Murkglider Skin Cape
Whitemetal Gorget
Hexxt Shedder’s Mace
Painbook of Mysteries
Mask of Time Gazing
Fleshwrap Cloak of Discord
Corrupted Soul Piercer

So, one more event stands in between us and the Don Dada of Discord. We promise a timely update upon the next events. Super promise!

Us too, buddy.
xtoo many too count

On behalf of everyone here at Triality, Dazinth would like to wish everyone a Happy Kwanzaa. In the spirit of his people’s blessed holiday, he will be wearing the customary Kwanzaa colors until the new year.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.