Yo everyone. This is our first update since the big merge from Vazaelle (RIP) to Maelin Starpyre. Like anything, you’ll find different opinions about how it went down. Some good and some…
We are recruiting:
Bard: 1-2Updated Jul 22, 2005
If you decide joining Triality is the thing for you, contact Orruar in game before you transfer, before you apply, basically before anything you better send Orruar a tell. Read our requirements in the Application section of our forums, and try not to suck at EverQuest.
For me to say, “It’s been a while since our last update” would be the understatement of a generation and just plain unnecessary. You may have noticed that I don’t usually update you, our adoring fans, of Triality’s comings-and-goings with anything unless it’s a fresh kill – a new kill. Telling you that we’ve killed x number of Dragons of Norrath bosses or Asylum of Anguish mobs over and over, for the past couple months, would have been boring and just plain silly. And while we did do just that, we were also plotting, scheming and strategizing for The Don Mega of Discord: Overlord Mata Muram.
I remember the first time we killed Arch Magus Vangl and the room shook with that dramatic effect, everyone was like, “Ooooo, Ahhhhhh, Impressive!” and we saw the wall lift, unveiling the Overlord himself. I can just picture all of us smiling, “Yay, we finally got to him, we can fight him and we’ll be like so happy with our soon-to-come victory and all of the dope loots and oh, this is just great!”. Wrong. Fucking WRONG.
It’s kind of sad. It’s like being a little kid at your first major league baseball game, getting there early, finding your favorite player during batting practice, going up to him and with your wide open, innocent little kid eyes, you look up, smile slightly and nervously ask him for an autograph. Then he spits right in your fucking eye and slaps your mom on the pussy. That’s pretty much how it felt since the day we first laid eyes on Mata Muram. He wasn’t going to go down and give up the goods easily – not at all. But we knew he was going the fuck down for goosing our mom’s gooch like that. Needless to say, we had some work ahead of us.
But it’s alright. We’re a competent bunch of talented players. I mean shit we’ve gotten this far, and at record speed I might add. So you would think that we should be OK when it comes to an event we’re definitely capable of beating, on paper anyway /thumbs up. We figured let’s just do what we do: get a bulletproof strategy together and just execute this fucker. Not so fast.
Flashback: Remember all those times, throughout your EverQuest experience, when you’re like romping around North Temple of Veeshan or in a difficult situation with your pickup group, and someone makes a bad pull or something and you wipe. Then you’re like, “Man we had enough healers, tanks and a couple of slowers. I wonder why we died.” You try to point fingers but it just gets you nowhere because everyone was supposedly “doing their job”. They were “paying attention” and definitely “not AFK”. These mysterious types of situations have been plaguing guilds and experience groups in EverQuest for a lifetime. Never having solid evidence to accurately point those fingers was aggravating as fuck. Well, not to worry, Mata Muram is pointing them for you in a big fucking way, in the form of mask clicks.
The way it works is: If you don’t click your Mirrored Mask when prompted, the raid gets punished by having our collective shits painfully pushed in and the script lets you know exactly who fucked up by shouting out their name for all to see, because they couldn’t do the simplest of things (just clicking a god damn item) when they were supposed to.
Glorious. Incredible. Amazing. Finally, the world knows just who has been quietly sucking at EverQuest this whole time and they can be dealt with accordingly. It’s like the “World’s Magic Tricks: Revealed” of EverQuest. You got to go behind the scenes and get to see who was really “doing their job”, “paying attention” and “not AFK”. An encounter that defies the filthy casual, mostly AFK, players that worm themselves into your guild/raid. Mata Muram was tailor made to challenge our band of adventurers and their [in]ability to stay alert at their god damn keyboards.
We all worked together, night after night, to make progress, to refine our skills, to unlearn what we have learned. The fight pushed our abilities, our tolerance of each other and our desire to AFK and take a piss or get drinks at the most inopportune of times throughout the night, to their very limits. But one man, one man stood by us, guided us, forced us and loved us enough to try to make our dreams come true. We needed his unwavering patience, his unfaltering will and staunch determination in order to drive us to our goal. That man is Orruar Lemmiwinks. Motivated by glory, pride and flagrant cockwavery, he would forever do his best to to keep our goal within sight and our spirits high:
The result of his guidance, our fear of his verbal lashings and being forced to kill the god damn Polar Kraken as punishment upon failure…
…would inevitably lead to the unthinkable – the unpossible!
Of course, here be the loot:
We’re all stoked as fuck. This fight is pretty badass; it’s even kind of fun, I guess. It’s a mix between luck and not being AFK, which obviously can get very frustrating. There still needs to be some changes made to it, but whatever, I’m not getting my hopes up for that.
So here is the end of the update where I usually put just the last month’s most prized guild moments in the form of tiny
classified adds screenshots, which display our virtue, discipline and maturity as a guild. But, since we haven’t had an update since Moses wore short pants, this is about three months worth of screenshots, because I’m good like that. You’re whale cum.
Adios for now, cholos.