Legacy Updates

Quarken The Red-Are you one, Herbert?

Originally posted by Quarken on Jan 24th, 2005 2:27

Yo everyone. This update should have come yesterday but like, Lucifer decided to dump 7 kagillion meglo-tons of snow on my house and surrounding areas. So I spent the majority of my time outside socializing with my neighbors, while we searched for creative adjectives to use in useless discussions about the snow we’re all stuck shoveling. But enough of that business, we need to talk about the good shit.

Arch Magus Vangl is the good shit. This was a fun event because after being forced to help that selfish bitch Jelvan, we just wanted some alone time, to do what we wanted. I mean, we’ll go back to him at some point but for now, we just wanted to see other mobs. Since we were fresh out of that suffocating relationship with Jelvan, it’s not surprising we got grabbed on the rebound by Arch Magus Vangl. He’s certainly not as eye appealing as Jelvan, but a friend of ours said he was easy. We all know what kinda goods Jelvan puts out, so we were hoping to get something a little better and intense from Vangl. So we went up to his lil penthouse suite he’s got in Anguish for a visit but as soon as we tried to talk to him, he became very hostile. We may be feeling a bit vulnerable from Jelvan, but we don’t take that shit from anyone. So we blew our collective rape whistles and gave him a face full of know-how.

It wasn’t long before he gave in and put out a lil sumthin sumthin. But we were wrong…

….Jelvan has puts out much better.

So anyway, we’re confused and alone again, looking for loot in all the wrong places. But I think we found a new man, we just gotta test the waters and talk to him a little before we make a commitment. Here’s a pic, he’s sooooo hawt…

/cue Sex in the City music

The Funny

Real fast, I need to share a miracle of the modern age with you all. This miracle will be difficult to believe but it’s something I’ve been waiting for, working towards, since I started this game and it finally happened. I feel it is my greatest accomplishment to date in EverQuest, althought it really was a result of the hard work and dedication of my guild mates that made this possible. So this is more of a thank you to them than anything else.

Now most of you just see icons, or perhaps a loser still using the default interface, but right there, that’s my buff window. But, it’s more than that, take a closer look. You see it yet?

I’ve been playing since 2000, and all my fucking life, all I ever wanted was a perfect buff order, to be able to recognize at a moments glance, what buff I am missing and to just plain ease my anal retentive obsession with The Perfect Buff Order. I try every single night to get the buffs in this specific order, but due to a plague of AFKs, slow replies and just plain buff cock-blockery, I had yet to achieve my never dying dream. Look at how amazing that is, from right to left I have my self buffs, my atk buffs, my ac buffs, and then my hit points buffs all perfectly arranged by God Himself. This is especially a miracle because I didn’t ask for a single one of these buffs, they were just cast on me, unbeknownst of my never ending quest for The Perfect Buff Order, my guild mates made a small man’s dream come true. No fucking Selo’s being spammed, no rez effects fading and a buff ninjaing it’s way into my top slot. It was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, even more beautiful than that plastic grocery bag being blown in the wind. But it didn’t last long because the bitches let me die about 4 minutes later. So thanks for nothing, you teases…gave me my dream and like that *snaps fingers*, you took it away. To hell with all of you!

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