Legacy Updates

quarken.xired-We Doin Drive-Bys On Freestyle Bikes

Originally posted by Quarken on Dec 03, 2005 02:22

Yo everyone. So I started writing this last night but I got sidetracked by alot of real life responsibilities I have to deal with right now (read: fired up the PS2 and played Star Wars Battlefront 2 for 6 hours). Lucky for us that I needed to extinguish the Imperial threat on Endor because I’d be doing another update tonight if I hadn’t slacked. So it pays to be lazy and addicted to the occasional console game. What I mean is, we killed Sendaii, the Hive Queen last night for the first time. Unbeknownst to us, we’d have more fresh kills to report tonight! So this update is action packed with our magnificent adventures through the wasteland of Darkhollow. Why don’t you read on and see what I’m talkin about, you silly goose.

Oh before I forget, we are recruiting! You need to read our requirements and whatnot before you apply. We’re looking for good members to fill our ranks for a few classes. Here’s an itemized list of what we’re looking for:

Cleric: 2
Enchanter: 1
Ranger: 1
Rogue: 2
Wizard: 1

If you feel our lovely guild is the place you want to be, send Llohannis or Grap a tell in game before you apply.

Ok here we are. Let’s start off with a list. We can title it, “Things I’d Rather Do Than The Hive Queen Event”:

– Play naked Twister in a colony of lepers that all have Parkinson’s.
– Play What Can You Fit In My Mouth with a horny serial rapist.
– Develop a time machine, go back about a year and take a well deserved, relaxing vacation in Phuket.
– Eat a box of laxatives and attempt to kayak from Boston to London.

This event is rhi-dic-ulously long. It’s not even that difficult. The only difficulty lies with how long can you not-piss-your-pants before you’re forced to ninja afk and consequently wipe the raid, because that’s how life is. Wave 3 is just the most annoying shit because its like a nesting doll collection gone bad. Mobs that die and make more mobs, that make more mobs, who make more mobs has never been happy times. Let me throw out a spoiler for anyone working on this event:

Once you put in a 9-5 shift doing Wave 1 & 2, you’ll eventually get to Wave 3. Amazing how that works out, isn’t it? Anyways, in W3 you gotta kill mobs that generate more mobs. So here’s the spoiler: First you get 6 spiders that, when killed, make 2 spiders each. When you kill each of those spiders you get a completely bored raid that slowly develops ulcers realizing we’re going to be stuck here well until the apocalypse…and then more spiders spawn.

x2

So, we killed her and there was much cheering, wooting and piss breaks. In total, the event took us 86 minutes. There is a general rule for encounters I try to stick by. Any event that lasts longer than I have sex is a waste of time, never mind 85 minutes longer. Like I said, the event isn’t difficult it’s just a race against Adult Attention Deficit Disorder. Truth be told, it felt good to be progressing through Darkhollow again. Ahh yes, the loots. Weren’t bad considering what we could have gotten off her.

x3

SO as I was saying, that was last night. Tonight we were about to get our farm on in Anguish again for the kagillionth time when we changed gears and took our momentum to Emperor Draygun, the Lich King. More like Emperor Draygun the Bitch King. Ha. Ha. See what I did there? We killed him on the first run tonight, though. Which made for a special feeling in our collective unmentionables.

x5

This fight is more reasonable. I give it 2 thumbs up!!@!$LOL The loots sucked ass but whatever, thats this expansion’s theme so I don’t think anyone was expecting fantastic loot.

x3

So I think that should wrap this little soiree up, for now. We’ll probably be having an update again soon since Demi-plane is a few days away. Peace in your crease.

x many moments of hilarity

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