#1 Bennyrz & Crew

I play by a few general rules these days; By general policy; I dont beef with bums and these nobodys are certified dusty ass bum asses but there about to be a huge break in policy because when you turn riding my dick into an Olympic event for nearly 2 years your ass bout to get put on the summer jam screen.

There’s a way too long story to tell here that involved 8 or 9 deadbeats, how many of them were even real people we might never know because between them blogging about how their significant others run their lives in a toxic relationship so they cant play EQ, logging each other in for DKP/Attendance hits/Rotting Loot, and having them been in the guild for 3 weeks in classic and most of them only ever made it to a single raid it’s impossible to tell.

After a few guild policy changes that prevented these skintags from pilfering our guild of epic drops and sky quest items to leave the guild before Kunark, and to a system where they couldn’t collude DKP bids in a private channel amongst themselves, they became extremely angry and decided they were going to execute order 66 ahead of schedule by simultaneously de-guilding everyone Tuesday morning before Sky. They were so convinced the guild would disband without them it had to be one of the most hilarious cases of Delusional Grandiosity I have ever seen. They deguild all 9 or 10 characters before our next sky raid; Thinking they are going to inflict MAXIMUM DAMAGE upon our guild…. By taking their 10 raiders to “The Filthy Casualz” (LOL, more on this later)

Clearly these idiots play with names off and can’t use google to figure out what they were dealing with. As a leader I have dealt with the loss of some real Heavyweight players over the years, I have dealt with the craziest of the crazies trying to enact retribution and these weed carriers don’t even make the top 100 list.

Picture me playing on a TLP server just to put myself in a position where I can get sandbagged by some rural albertan eskimo methlord who has the brains of a child trapped under the Ice in January and Found in July.

What should have ended there and did on our parts, did not end there for the star of this show and Lead suspect in a string of burglaries related to Meth Trailers in Red Deer County: Bennyrz.

Developing a delusional psychosis of salt towards the guild and myself; Benny and his sycophants immediately began putting their mental BOOOM on display. Running to guild members throughout norrath on a myriad of alts to deliver their Dalno RP Fan Fiction of: “14 y/o Guild Leader”, “Corrupt Guild”, “Farm loot for Megalixir’s Alts”, and “DALNOS BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!”. I will say, this cocksucker was persistent. If the FBI profiled this guy; he’d be on a watch list by the end of business hours that very day. To save you all about 2 hours of your life and because I don’t want to take away from the A&E Docu-Series Special that will be made about him some day; Here’s some of the highlights over the 16 month period Bennyrz and their collective band of failures spent entertaining us by letting us know they have Dalnoth posters above their headboards.

Don’t worry guys, There’s always next TLP server.

[Tue Jul 21 13:59:51 2020]

 Bennyrz says, ‘vonnn mega’
Bennyrz says, ‘aka farm gear/money for megalixer guild’

[Fri Sep 18 21:45:17 2020]
Bennyrz says, ‘slaves of dalno’
Bennyrz says, ‘hows it feel to give him all raid $ loot’
Bennyrz says, ‘so he can buy KR off your back’
You say, ‘feels wounderful’
Bennyrz says, ‘”loot council” lolol what a joke’
Bennyrz says, ‘you must be a officer then’
You say, ‘you so salty bby its okay’
Bennyrz says, ‘benefitting from the corrupt’
Bennyrz says, ‘lol i dont care’
You say, ‘where your epic at?’
Bennyrz says, ‘unlike you guys, megalixiers personal bitches’
Bennyrz says, ‘lololol nice one’
You say, ‘OH right’
You say, ‘LOLOLOL’
Bennyrz says, ‘unlike u losers i dont value pixels that much’
Bennyrz says, ‘i hear yall ks alot’
Bennyrz says, ‘lucky this not a pvp server where i came from’
You say, ‘hit me up when your guild at least get you an epic’
Bennyrz says, ‘lol such a child’
Bennyrz says, ’14 yrs old like dalno?’
Bennyrz says, ‘puss’

[Sat Oct 17 22:30:52 2020]
Cludstrife says, ‘lol von mega newbs’
Players in EverQuest:
—————————
[1 Cleric] Cludstrife (Dark Elf) ZONE: neriakc
Jalad hugs Cludstrife.
Eristic says, ‘what does newbs mean’
Minx tells the guild, ‘I feel like that is totally bennyrz’
Minx tells the guild, ‘Logging mad’
Minx tells the guild, ‘Cuz he still doesn’t have epic’
Kukimagi tells the guild, ‘Upon further investigation, shield isnt for sale’
Mendix tells the guild, ‘is Benny really making lvl 1s just to /say something?’
Minx tells the guild, ‘lol’
Yarg tells the guild, ‘wouldnt surprise me’
Minx tells the guild, ‘No he probably made one to check on verina cuz he still doesn’t have an epic’
Yarg tells the guild, ‘that guy couldnt be more butt hurt if he fell off a ladder onto a flourescent tube’
Kukimagi tells the guild, ‘Be sure to link the VT drop to him’
Slimans tells the guild, ‘N E W B S Nutstomping Every Wizzle + Bennyrz Sidepiece’

I don’t think I need to point out (Although im about to) the high irony of somebody claiming not to care about pixels having the MENTAL BOOM of a lifetime… over pixels.

The conclusion to this story couldn’t be anymore hilarious if we fabricated the entire thing. Joining “The Filthy Casualz” we got frequent updates on their progress and watching their Aradune progress follow the trajectory of Scott Storch’s bank account during a coke bender was the maraschino cherry on top of it all after all the shit they were talking.

Shortly before fucking off back to whatever hole they came out of they joined an actual raiding guild for a hot minute to be weed carriers and tried acting like they were somebody before quitting again. Lots of people have ended up in the Hall of Shame list before; but none since Circo have become an absolute living meme and fountain of hilarity like Bennyrz.

My personal favorite were the tells from him and his side pieces bazaar traders that would immediately go into offline mode so you couldn’t respond to them. Also after 16 months of the high road I think its time for 2006 Dalnoth to make an appearance;

Watching Bennyrz act like a norrathian gangster between the hours of 6:30pm and 10:00pm where he can hide in the closet from his wife then the “BEN IM HOME” hits and his 64 impala low rider turns into a 2006 Compaq Pressario again. I never knew how stupid this mother fucker was until a sky raid when I had the pleasure of watching him carry out the extremely complex and what seemed to be incomprehensible task of figuring out a plane of sky key. I swear fucking Ray Charles could reach island 7 of plane of sky before this missing chromosome specimen.

Meanwhile Bennyrz in the MIA Channel:
“Hey guys sry, my wife wont let me play EQ again”
“Sry MIA tonight, Wife’s bowling friend Cancelled”
“Sry MIA tonight gonna go shoot up a dollarama after I find all the ingredients for a fresh bottle of shake and bake meth”

When Bennyrz decides to grace people with his presence there are no winners and the clearest loser is humanity, but Aradune hasn’t been the same without him, we miss you bro.

xoxo.