Greetings cholos and cholettes, I know this update is about a week late but there were mystical forces preventing me from writing this, I assure you. It was not pure unadulterated slackdom, which I’m sure you all are assuming. This update is action packed, with a lot going on around the world as well as Norrath. So, like always, I have a lot to say about these matters.
Let’s talk recruiting first. We have a very full roster right now but do have room for a few skilled players. If any more slots open up I will update this list ASAP!
Here’s what we are looking for:
Druid: 1 (Hatemongers need not apply)
We are ones for tradition around here. So if you read our website with any consistency you would know that you have to do the following things before applying:
- Register with our website.
- View the Applications forum.
- Read the post by Orruar titled, “Before you apply read this“.
- Talk to either Orruar or me (Dalnoth) before posting an application.
So last time we had an updateroo, we were finishing up Depths of Darkhollow and heading to tackle Prophecy of Ro hardcore. This expansion, as a whole, is pretty cool but there are some severe problems with it, that you’ll be hearing more of later. Let’s look at the positive right now. The Red Sox trounced the New York Skankies last night, we gave al-Qaeda’s #2 Islamic jihadist 1,000 pounds of American love and the guild as a whole is just as solid as the first time we dropped Overlord Mata Muram. Things couldn’t be better. With this new found momentum we made our way to Daosheen the Firstborn in search of a Deathknell, Tower of Dissonance key.
Remember all those amazing times on Overlord Mata Muram, where one person’s retarded action could have 54 of you sitting at your bind spot for 40 minutes? Well, this fight takes that to a whole new level and you can’t even Fortitude tank him for 10 seconds and hope a ranger dispels his ass kicking buff. In fact, all you can do is bend over and read, “You have taken 100,000 points of damage. LOADING PLEASE WAIT…“. Aside from the debacle of clicking the crystals in the wrong order 3 times before getting it right, this fight gets the Dalnoth Seal of Awesomeness. Just to make you think a little, what would you do if you were colorblind? They should have put text on the side of the red crystal to torment colorblind people, “I’m The Blue Crystal”. We eventually overcame our own demise and dropped this lay down Sally with great haste, and in return he dropped great loots.
Next up on the hit list is what is considered to be the Cockblockery of Deathknell access, which I disagree with for reasons other than difficulty. Sullon Zek, Mistress of Rage is, without a doubt, the hardest of the ‘gatekeeper’ mobs this expansion, with a very unique mechanism never seen in end-game raiding before. I think it’s a pretty cool idea aside from the whole ‘one person can fuck your entire raid over‘ thing. Which, by the way, I think needs to be yesterday’s trend because, quite frankly, it’s getting old. When somebody fucks up, you know what it should do? Exactly what it does on hatchet: kill them. If you fuck up really bad you can kill other dumbasses not paying attention too. It’s a win/win situation really. Anyway, after slamming our heads against this script for a solid 3 days to only be killed by one low intelligence soul not paying attention, we revised our strategy and took the log to the beaver.
I’d give you some awesome loot links if there were any.
Alright, that’s 2 out of 3 of the gatekeepers of this expansion’s end-zone down for all you go-getters keeping track at home. I can give you one guess of where we heading next. If you guessed to Suchun, Blood Warden of Solusek: You win the prize!
While this encounter was certainly not the hardest, I had a lot of fun learning it and think it is one of the better raids created for this expansion. There’s not much to be told about this fight other than Suchun is Blazzax the Omnifiend in disguise. If you want to know what he looks like I’m sure you can find a picture of him from one of our 3 year old website updates. Suchun felt The Pimp Hand of God, as a wise stoned mage from the Rathe server once said; completing our Deathknell flag and showering us with fine wares!
Triality is now flagged for this expansions end-zone.
We are anxiously awaiting the next patch to tackle the challenges that wait for us in Deathknell, Tower of Dissonance. As you know us, we always have our eyes on the prize.
Anyway, in the world that we call EverQuest, progression is the gossip on the street these days with Sony making the big announcement that they are releasing what is to be called the ‘Progression Server’. While I think this server is going to be fun, who the fuck cares about progression from 7 years ago? I want to talk about the here & the now: Prophecy of Ro. There are lots of good things about Prophecy of Ro, take the well designed raids for instance. However, one of the undebatable downfalls of this expansion is the horridly fractured and disjointed story line. They bounce from one obscene story arc to the next with no real regard for the other the story lines. I mean really, what does Mayong Mistmoore have to do with a giant green thing that has a gaping mouth with fangs for a head, a Blazzax the Omnifiend lookalike and Sullon Zek? I just don’t get it. Throw Ayonae Ro in there and now my head hurts.
Aside from the atrocious story line, Prophecy of Ro boasts the most HORRID progression path since Shadows of Luclin, where cockblockery, training, and asshattery are all brought back. This is all in an effort to appeal to the whiny whores that are only happy if they are shitting on somebody else. A perfect example of this? Well, I don’t know how it is going to be after this patch but as of now, in order to get fully flagged for Deathknell, you need a piece of a staff off of this mob called Porthio the Second Born in Relic, the Artifact City. You’re probably thinking, “Well, Dalnoth, what is so bad about that? All keys require some kind of drop”. You are right. But what makes this an absolute brain fart on a designers part is the fact that the mob is a FIVE DAY respawn and drops SIX progression parts. To make matters even worse, Porthio is killable by Anguish level guilds and has tier 2 Demi-Plane loot on his loot table; focus effects and all. Not to mention he is required for a 10AC 90HP 10SV augmentation and he drops 1 of only 2 existing 190/160/160 augmentations in the game to date, making him a desirable farm target for end-game guilds who can kill him with 36 people. Coupled with the fact that Sony has packed 6 guilds, capable of killing this monstrosity, on at least 2 servers (Antonius Bayle and Maelin Starpyre), making it near impossible to fully flag your guild for Deathknell.
Prophecy of Ro, you have officially earned a warm spot in my heart.
Well, that’s all the fun filled action we have for you this evening. It’s officially 6:43 AM. I gotta get a few hours sleep before I need to be awake, conscious and functional. Until next time. Later, haters.
Everyone wants to be like Mike.