Legacy Updates

quarken.xired-We pillage, we plunder, we rifle, and loot

Originally posted by Quarken on Sun Jun 10, 2007 15:56   

Yo everyone. If my clock is right, it’s update:30 on this sunny Hangover Sunday. So, down some Alka-Seltzer and keep your Bud mud ass off the toilet for 10 seconds, it’s go time.

Last time you came by here, we were taking turns riding Commodus like a mechanical bull through Solteris, Throne of Ro. Hang on, the Power Rangers theme just queued up in Winamp, 1 sec. Alright I’m back. So anyway, we had just finished event 6 and we were salivating for the chance at an omnipotent 3-way with Mayong Mistmoore and Solusek Ro in event 7. Post-coitus, we did what any gentleman would do; bundled them up, threw them in the trunk and found a nice comfortable ravine for them to go to sleep in.

Get in the fuckin trunk

A Transformed Ring of Power
Stone of Dark Tidings
Dark Runed Belt
Cloak of Solteris
Blade of Pure Light

I feel like a broken record sometimes. It’s pretty exhausting to come here, after we we beat each event, usually before anyone else, and bitch. Bitching because the events aren’t working, or they haven’t been tested or tuned. Like in the case of event 7, the shit wasn’t beatable by any ways possible for a while. I could come here, write some hi-lar-ious commentary about how event 7 was gayer than Liberace teabagging a unicorn while shitting a rainbow, but why bother. It’s not funny anymore. Show some effort into getting this shit worked out and proper before you have throngs of people wasting weeks losing to your expansions for no reason. Also, give Nodyin a raise or some hookers. He’s the sole reason we aren’t at your gates with pitchforks and torches firebombing your faces.

But anyway, enough of that whinefest. I just want to congratulate this group of murders here that we call Triality. Another remarkable victory becoming the first guild in all of Everquest to conquer The Buried Sea. What’s that? 2 in a row now? We’re putting the nasty in dynasty. I hope the other guilds don’t get too upset being below us. At least you get to look up Kela’s skirt. But be warned: her e-penis is quadruple the size of yours.

Well that will do it for this edition. Between now and the imminent slaughter of the next expansion, you can check back here for the Solteris movie which is in the works. Until then, don’t let your meat loaf, kid.

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